He looked his wife in the eyes and said, “I’ve lost everything.” What she said back didn’t just save his marriage, it helped save his life.
I’m Sylvia Worsham , and this conversation with Anil Gupta, internationally known as the Love Doctor, goes straight into the places most of us hide: fear, shame, financial loss, suicidal thoughts, and the quiet belief that we’re no longer enough.
Anil walks us through his 2008 rock-bottom moment and the mindset shift that followed. We talk about awareness as the master discipline, why we stack negative experiences into a story that controls us, and how to “become the light” when your mind wants to spiral.
Then we get extremely practical with Anil’s happiness formula: H = Give × Gratitude × Grow. You’ll hear simple ways to raise your “happiness score” fast through acts of kindness, gratitude practices, and intentional personal growth in your emotional, physical, spiritual, mental, and financial life.
We also bring the tools home to relationships and marriage. Anil shares what many men and women are really asking for, how to stop “fixing” your partner, and the exact questions to ask if you want more respect, more love, and a calmer home.
If you’re searching for mental health support, purpose, or real relationship advice that’s easy to apply today, this one is for you.
Subscribe, share this with someone who needs hope, and leave a review so more people can find the tools. What’s one small decision you can make today to be 1% happier?
To connect with Anil visit his website at: https://meetanil.com/
To download a free chapter of host Sylvia Worsham’s bestselling book, In Faith, I Thrive: Finding Joy Through God’s Masterplan, purchase any of her products, or book a call with her, visit her website at www.sylviaworsham.com
Transcript:
If you’ve ever struggled with fear, doubt, or worry, and wondering what your true purpose was all about, then this podcast is for you. In this show, your host, Sylvia Warsham, will interview elite experts and ordinary people that have created extraordinary lives. So here’s your host, Sylvia Warsham.
Hey Lightbringers, it’s Sylvia Warsham. Welcome to Released Out Reveal Purpose. And today is Anil Gupta, known internationally as the Love Doctor. Red His biography was blown away because he is someone that has all the credentials in the world and yet has a very dark chapter to share with us. A story of transformation that got us directly into the space he’s in now, helping couples and relationships um navigate this love in this world. And you don’t get to this space unless you’ve gone through some pivotal moments. And in 2008, Anil survived suicide. Those are dark chapters. Anyone navigating through suicide or even thoughts of suicide, this is your interview. This is your space to feel safe, to know that there are people that have navigated through this chapter and that have come out on the other side of joy and happiness. He will be sharing with us that formula for happiness that he has found throughout his journey. So without further ado, and Neil, thank you so much for joining us on Release South Reveal Purpose.
Hey Silva, thank you for the invitation. And I promise your audience that they’ll have many practical tools and methodologies that they can immediately apply so that they can really lead a wisher follow a happier life. So it’ll be a very practical conversation today.
And I’m looking forward to it because who doesn’t want practical? How you know sometimes when people talk in interviews, they give these very high-level concepts and yet they don’t boil it down to the practical steps, the the baby steps that we need to take on a on a daily basis to not achieve, because we don’t achieve happiness. We are and we embody happiness in our journey. So, but I do know that you have a quite powerful testimony to share with us today. So can you guide us through that pivotal moment in 2008?
Sure, it was uh November 2008. I I lost everything in the stock market, real estate, um, the school funds, the college funds, the house, the car. And I thought it might be a good time to tell my wife. I went up to the we were staying in Miami at the time, went up to the hotel room and said, Honey, something really bad has happened. She said, What is it? I said, Honey, I’ve lost everything. And she said, What do you mean? I said, Well, the house, the car. Everything. There’s the money in the bank, everything. And she looked up at me, Silver, and she smiled. And I thought, What’s wrong with you? Did you not hear what I said? She said, Honey, I knew something was wrong. You’ve been behaving strangely. I had been behaving strangely, obviously, if you know that you’re going to lose everything, it didn’t just o uh happen overnight. And she said, I thought it was something serious. I said, Honey, well, what do you mean? There’s nothing more serious than this. And she said, Honey, you don’t get it. I thought you were dying, I thought you had cancer. I don’t care about the money. Oh shocked. And then she said, Oh, you made one big mistake. I thought, here we go. I knew it. It couldn’t be. And she was so calm. She said, Honey, you haven’t lost everything. You still have me, you still have the kids. We’ll sleep in the streets if we have to, as long as we’re with you. And Sylvie, that changed everything. A huge weight off came off my shoulders. The stupid thoughts in my head disappeared. And she said, Honey, just go to sleep. I’ll drive home. And I slept. I realized that I was focusing on what I didn’t have. And I had so much left. I had my health. I don’t know how I had my health because it was a terrible experience, but I had my health. I had my wife, had my kids. What else do I need? And you know, I’m I’m a tough guy. I’ve never let them down, and I never would. But at that time, everything just happened at once, and it was a terrible time. And if you go through something like this, let me tell you, this too shall pass, this too short past, this two short past. There’s always a way. And we’re going to teach you some ways today. And what one way is this, this is one thing I did, which will change your life. And if you just do this one thing, it will make a big difference. Be so amazing that you cannot be ignored. You see, if you show up that way, and if people ignore you, it doesn’t matter because you’re showing up the best version of you. This will completely change your life. How you show up will determine how you uh uh live the rest of your life. You see, there are only two types of people on the planet, Sylvia. Ones that make you happy when you enter the room, ones that make you happy when you leave the room. You’re either bullying energy or you’re suck energy. Which one are you? I used to be the one that was suck energy, but I didn’t know it. I didn’t have the awareness. You see, awareness is the master discipline. Awareness gives you clarity, clarity gives you focus, focus gives you action, action gives you results, results gives you momentum, momentum gives you everything. You cannot be in love, you cannot be successful, you cannot be joyful, you cannot be happy, you cannot be fulfilled without awareness. So today, increase your level of awareness, start using the tools we’re going to give you today, and I promise you a brand new life.
I’m touched really by your wife’s reaction. I think it’s empowering for anyone listening, and I want to commend her. Number one, I want to say, what a beautiful woman. How lucky you are to have that kind of love in your life. That’s the embodiment. She embodied love in its purest form, unconditional love in its purest form. That is a concept that is pretty foreign in most cultures. We are conditioned to view marriage as a contract, as an exchange. But it is a covenant between two individuals. We become one flesh. When you suffered, she was suffering. She felt it, she knew that’s the intimacy of a marriage, of a covenant, a marriage, and it’s beautiful to watch how the modeling of how it should work. Is a partner that comes vulnerably to share, hey, I messed up, this is what’s going on, and then the other partner to say, I’ve known and it doesn’t matter, and I still love you because it’s not about the achievement or the money, it’s about being one with that person, it’s about moving through life, witnessing each other’s triumphs and failures, and still loving each other, regardless. That’s one thing I wanted to mention as as soon as you stop speaking. The other thing I wanted to share with others is that you’re right, it’s all about awareness. Your mindset shifts when we we allow the renewal of our mind. Now, we all I believe in Christ, for example, I’m a Christian, and when I turn inward to understand my circumstances, instead of looking at the outside circumstances and it dictating my mindset, I actually do better. But when I get when I hear the noise constantly, and I don’t take the time to reflect, and I don’t take the time to spiritually see or spiritually hear and embody understanding of the circumstances, and then turn inward for that guidance, I’m really lost. I stay stuck in these darker chapters. I don’t know if that’s been your experience, Anil.
See, as human beings, we’re really good at stacking. And we’re good at stacking the negative stuff, and then we make a story around it, and then we put a meaning around it. I’m not good enough, I’m not smart enough, there’s something wrong with me, no one loves me, I don’t belong, I’m not enough. But what if we could stack the good stuff? Think of five magical moments in your life, and then think of another five, think of another five, and anytime you’re not feeling the best version of you, you start thinking of those magical moments, and everything starts to change. So, for example, Sylvia, you come home late at night, but the house is completely dark. You’d go in and you would turn on the light, wouldn’t you? Obvious. But you know what people do in real life? They try and remove the darkness. They try and remove the negativity, the frustration, the shame, the anger, the guilt. Don’t do that. Just become the light. When you become the light, the darkness will disappear. People have got it all wrong. But we’ve been hypnotized. We’re the common denominator in wherever we go. When we change, our life changes. When we make a decision, our life changes. So I’m asking the audience today, what decision are you gonna make today? Are you gonna show up the best version of you? Are you gonna use the happiness formula that we’re gonna share in a minute? Are you gonna make a better decision today? Are you gonna be healthier, stronger, fitter, kinder, gentler, more giving, more generous, more playful, more fun today? If you decide to be 1% happier, you could do that today. What if you did that for the next hundred days? How much joy would that bring into your life, into your family’s life?
It it is. You’re so right about it. The gratitude piece, because what I hear you saying is there’s gratitude in those happy moments. Like when we start to reframe those thoughts, the thoughts are what drive the feeling within us, and then the feeling is where it just we can’t shift that thought, it just spirals from there. It becomes a feeling, the feeling creates a reaction in us, and then the reaction is what leads to our results in life. And sometimes we create lovely habits around these reactions, right? In our darkest moments. So when we can take these thoughts captive and reframe them to a thought that is pure, that is noble, that is true. That’s why we always say in coaching, because I’m a certified life coach with the life uh John Maxwell team, we always say, capture that thought. Now let’s reframe it. What can we do with that thought? Let’s look at our present moment and dispel the lies of that belief system. Right? So with your present circumstances, tell me why you think this thought is true today. And what you start to discover as you ask yourself these questions and reflection is the following. You’ve been carrying around beliefs that were formed long ago, that were true when you were a little kid. But as you grew up, you’ve carried these beliefs inside of your subconscious mind and they’re still in control. And until you discover it through awareness, through the conscious ability of your mind, when you start asking yourself those questions, and those answers come from the deep um parts of your brain, then you start to understand, wow, that’s not true anymore. And now let’s use, I use scripture now to kind of combat that as well. It’s like, okay, let’s reframe the thought and then let’s show the truth through the word, you know, through scripture and see what that says. And there’s tons of scripture out there that align to what the truth is in your present moment. And when people start to realize that, then they’re like, wow, that why do I allow these beliefs to dictate my the way I view life? And once you dispel the lie, it it no longer has power over you. And so I’m curious to know what those practical tips that you have to share with us regarding happiness. So please take the stage and share with us.
So um, you know, after that uh episode with my wife, I started doing events, five people, 10, 20, 15, 100, 500, eventually 10,000 people spoke on stages, TEDx, Fox News, Skype, TV, ABC, NBC, Harvard, written three bestseller books. And I was thinking, what did I do to get out of this? And I realized that there was a formula. And I developed something called the happiness formula, which is H equals to G times G times G. The first G is you have to give your time, your energy, your love, your commitment, your gift, your money. Give it away, not wanting anything in return. See, when you perform an act of kindness, you feel good. The person receiving the act of kindness feels good. The person observing the act of kindness feels good. The person sharing the act of kindness feels good, the person receiving the sharing feels good, the person observing the sharing feels good. So it has a huge ripple effect. The second year, you have to be grateful for what you have and don’t focus on what you don’t have. So if you look at your hands, when was the last time you thank them? When was the last time you thank your heart? Every 30 years, your heart beats a billion times. One billion with a B. Your skin is the largest organ in the body, your heart, your liver, your kidneys, they’re constantly working. So um is this a video podcast or audio podcast?
It could be both.
Okay.
Right now it’s audio.
What what what do you see here?
I see ten fingers, ten, two hands.
Two hands, okay. They look normal, don’t they?
Yes.
So this hand has nine fractures in it, titanium um plate, and about 13 screws. It looks normal, and this is what life is like. When we look at someone, we think, oh, everything’s okay. We don’t know what they’re going through. But by you being so amazing, you could change someone’s life. You could save them from doing something stupid. It’s incumbent on us to impact more lives. And the third key is you have to um grow emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally, and financially. So on August the 25th, 2025, my happiness score was a nine for give, a nine for grow, and a nine for gratitude, which is 729. And about 9 a.m., it went down to 1. My growth was one, happy uh give was one, gratitude was one. I was playing pickleball, I slipped and fell. That’s when I fractured my hand, dislicated it, scraped it. It was a horrible experience. Obviously, you know, I wasn’t happy. But then I thought to myself awareness, how can I be grateful here? And I thought, Anil, it’s your left hand. I’m right-handed. Thank God it’s my left hand. And I thought, how could I give? I thought I looked around, I thought, and all these paramedics were there, the other pickleball players were there, and I said, Thank you. And I said, I appreciate you doing that for me. It’s really generous of you. I gave them compliments, I gave them thanks. And the third thing is, how could I grow? So Daniel, yeah, I talk to myself a lot. What what you could use this as a story to inspire others that are going through adversity. It’s not what happens, it’s who you become. And people say, Oh, that must have been a terrible experience, and I’d now say it’s one of the best experiences of my life because I slowed down. Sylvia, when I’m at the pickleball course and I’m having a cup of coffee, I’m enjoying that moment so much. There was a time I couldn’t even pick up a playing card. I couldn’t even move. It took me about 20 minutes to get from the pickleball court to the car. It was like 100 yards. It was so painful. So be grateful for what you have, don’t focus on what you don’t have. And then I got a five for gratitude, five for give, five for grow. So my score went from 729 to 1 to 125 within an hour. So ask yourself: what would happen if I gave more? What would happen if I became more grateful? What would happen if I grew? And then your happiness score would go up. It’s very simple.
And yet people struggle with it because they want to complicate it. Yeah. Uh I do agree with you. The give, the gratitude, and the growth are extremely important. And let me relate to it. The giving was something I felt in my heart to do. Long, long ago, our my husband and I, we belonged to a non-denominational church here in Austin. And like we’re talking about 2020. We felt a pull through our soul to give 10% of our earnings. And so we started giving to our church. But then in 2024, I started to get it prompting myself to not just give money, give our time, give our talents to the church, right? And I was a certified life coach, and I know that my church is very um, I love it because it’s their motto is no perfect people allowed. I love that motto. And it’s people that are discovering their faith. And it and everyone’s welcome. We don’t, we don’t push down our ways of thinking onto anybody. We allow them to go through their own journey and we just stand beside them. You know, if they need help, then we stand, we we step in to help with our talents. And so I told my husband, I was like, I just feel this calling. I want to, I want to do the training and become a coach for the the heel team at the church. And so I started the process in 2025 and just and I completed and now I’m a coach every Sunday for an hour or two hours of my time every single week. That’s amazing, right? It’s beautiful. It’s beautiful. It gives me such purpose and such fulfillment, wholeness, really, because I’m in my calling, I’m in my vocation, I’m in that gift that I was given from the moment I was made. I’m fearfully and wonderfully made with a unique set of skills that only I can do in a certain way that people need to receive, right? So the giving part. The gratitude part has always been part of my DNA for whatever reason. It was something that I began feeling a pull to be in 2018 when I had a crisis in our marriage. And I used to be a very negative person, and I started to feel this need to be grateful. And it somehow it started to shift and transform my mind. And I started to feel even more full and more focused on what my steps ahead. And so in 2021, I would do uh not just a gratitude journal, but just every day would write down at least 25 things I was grateful for. So when you ask me about the hands, I’ve been doing it since 2021. My body, I thank my body because at 40, I was able to carry a child despite medical complications, despite being told by doctors that I may not be able to carry another biological child. But there were advancements in medicine that provided me with that opportunity, and so I viewed it as like, wow, what an opportunity. And I think growth is always we we are constantly growing. The day we stop growing is the day we physically die. But in my book, it’s an everyday. And it’s a leveling up. It’s like a video game. You know, kids love to play video games. I always say life is kind of like a video game. We’re mastering certain skills. And then when we’ve mastered them, then in my case, God says, okay, baby girl, it’s time to level up. Here you go. Have some here are some circumstances, like the pickleball thing. Now, I’m also a pickleball player, so you know. I was a former college uh tennis player, and so pickleball was an easy transition for me, and I’ve been playing it since 2016. I know about injuries because my husband has gotten injured immensely on the pickleball court, and you’re right, it’s very painful, and it and it can keep you off the court for a while, but it happened to your left hand. We rarely use our left hand if we’re right-handed in pickleball, unless you have a two-handed backhand, like I do. But but even then, I could do a slice backhand and be okay with it, like a one-handed backhand. Um, so to me, those three Gs have been integral in the way I’ve carried my life, but now I’ve added the spiritual aspect to it. I added it back in 2023 when I felt a pull to get to know him more, it through his word. I had never opened up a Bible. I was a Catholic that didn’t understand how to do that, and I was a little overwhelmed, but then I just started, like I normally do with any new um habit I create, I start baby steps because you know, anything that scares me, I think. Well, if I break it down in small pieces, it’s a lot easier to adapt and to create a new habit. And I just have it stacked, kind of like what um the author from Atomic Habits talks about is to have it stack anything new that you’re starting off with something that you love to do. So I love to have my cup of coffee in the mornings, and so I have it stacked, having my cup of coffee and getting into his word every day. And the more I did it, the more my path was revealed before me. And what was once old belief system started to fall away because my mind was, I was allowing my mind to be renewed and transformed. So I’m in complete alignment to these three steps, the three Gs. I think my favorite one is the giving one, because when you give kindness, you’re right, it’s like a ripple effect. People see and observe that and they want that, they want more of that. Like they they see your essence and they see your light, and they’re like, what makes this girl tick? And when they realize it’s not to do with the achievements or the money, that just provides some uh a means to give more, right? Because we give money, we receive the money to give more of it out to humanity, to people that really need it. And because those are blessings we’re receiving. The more we give, the more we make room to receive in our heart space. So I’m I love your message. I think it’s there’s very practical steps to this that we can apply. So, can you give us some examples of what is like in working with these couples? What is one way for these couples to start getting getting you know happier? What do you think?
Well, um by by them getting on better, they’ll be happier. So, women need to know what men want. Men want to feel respected above feeling loved. So, you know, words of information. Good job, well dominant part of you. You’re amazing. Thank you for keeping me safe. Uh, thank you for fixing that. Thank you for you know, you’re providing whatever women want to feel loved. They want to feel heard, they want to feel understood, they want to feel listened to, they do not want to be fixed. So, men, don’t fix your women, don’t do that. They don’t want that, and it’s confusing. So, ladies, ask your partner, your husband, your um boyfriend, what can I do to make you feel even more respected? What else can I do? What else can I do? What else can I do? And they’ll tell you. Wait a minute, ask your partner, what can I do to make you feel even more loved? What else can I do? What else can I do? What else can I do? And they’ll tell you, it’s much easier that they tell you, you know, I should have asked my wife, what do you want? I didn’t. And when you do that, and and so let me give you an example. I would leave the toilets detailed, and my wife would get upset. And I thought it was funny. And I thought, oh, she’s not going to tell me what to do. It’s my house. I bought this house. And then one day she said, honey, every time you do that, I can’t love you as much. Well, that’s a bit low. I thought about it and I thought, no, she’s right. Why would I do that if if she can’t love me as much? And it’s the same with the toothpaste. I would always leave the toothpaste cap off. Now I willingly and lovingly do it. But we have to be aware of the impact our actions have on our partners. By just being so amazing, it will add more years to your life and more life to your years. Your relationships will improve, your energy will improve, the quality of life will improve, you’ll have more magical moments. Life is not about the number of breaths you take, but the number of time your breath is taking away, and you’ll have more of those. And you’re the common denominator wherever you go. By you changing your life changes, by you changing your partner changes, by you changing everybody around you and miraculously starts to change. Make that decision today, and everything will change.
Absolutely agree with you. And in fact, scripture agrees with you. This has been around for over thousands and thousands of years. This advice, you know, that we’re giving on the podcast today, it has been in ancient texts for many, many years. It’s all of this information, all of this advice is in the way we show up. How are we showing up? How are we pursuing each other? In marriage covenants, it’s a pursuit. You pursue one another, you agree to pursue each other in females respecting your men, and and there’s scripture to that effect. It talks about it in the Bible of women, wives respect your husbands, submit to your husbands as you do to the Lord. But the word respect is actually in there, and the and the direction is also the other way. Husbands love your wives. That word is actually used. And what I you’re right, even the simple things uh that we take for granted, and some of the things that we don’t even think about as women, because we’re conditioned, and you know, I think you’ll agree in the United States at least, um, and in other countries, women in the in this environment have been told since the time they were very young that they’re almost competing with men, and we’re not supposed to be competing with anybody. We’re not supposed to be competing with men either. Men are um our protectors, they’re our providers, you know. Like you said, thank you for protecting me. That’s one way you can tell your husbands or your partners, hey, thank you so much for protecting me. Thank you for providing for us. You know, in my case, with my husband, at one point I was working at the same time as him, but I still thanked him for providing for our home, providing security, providing safety. Um, it goes in line with what we’re saying here today. And it, you’re right, the more we do that, the more, the happier we’ll be, the more we will embody the true meaning of love. Unconditional love is is very beautiful. And I love you regardless, whether you deserve it or not. I’m gonna love you. I’m gonna love you whether you, you know, put that cap on or not. I am gonna love you. Now I I love the concepts you’re sharing, Anil. Any any last words of encouragement you want to leave the listeners have released out reveal purpose about happiness?
So, you know, people are going through things and we don’t know what they’re going through. By you showing up the best version of you, you never know the impact we have on other people. So I’d encourage you in the next few days, perform five random acts of kindness and notice how you feel, notice how it impacts the other person.
I love that. Love that because kindness spreads like wildfire, right? I mean, it does, and everybody wants to get in on that type of action. So thank you so much, Anil, for joining us on release out reveal purpose. And for those listening, you know how I sign up. Remember, Matthew 5.14 to be the light, be the light, embody that light like Anil has embodied his light ever since 2008, ever since his wife said, Honey, I love you regardless. Like we can get through this together. You have your life, you have your health, you have us, you have the kids. What more do you need? And so if you can be that person, embody that kind of love, happiness just seems to follow. And remember his three G’s, you know, to give, to grow, and to have gratitude. And that that is that will keep you in that space longer. Okay. So have a wonderful week. Stay safe. Love y’all. Bye now.
So that’s it for today’s episode of Release Doubt Reveal Purpose. Head on over to iTunes or wherever you listen and subscribe to the show. One lucky listener every single week who posts a review on iTunes will win a chance in the grand prize drawing to win a$25,000 private VIP with Sylvia Worsham herself. Be sure to head on over to sylviaworsham.com and pick up a free copy of Sylvia’s gift and join us on the next episode.