Rick Tocquigny shares his transformative journey writing his 11th book, “Truly Significant,” and how it changed his perspective on life and purpose. Through curating stories of big-hearted people, Rick discovered that true significance comes from focusing on others rather than self-promotion.
• Rick’s book “Truly Significant” grew from patterns he observed in over 500 podcast interviews
• The number 40 appears significantly in both the Bible and Rick’s podcast journey
• A woman from Sierra Leone who adopted her son’s murderer exemplifies the power of forgiveness
• Forgiveness and love form the foundation for becoming truly significant
• Rick’s perspective transformed through writing, helping him see people differently
• Early authorship was ego-driven until Barbara Bush’s letter showed him the power of impacting one person
• Effective storytelling should have a beginning, middle, end, and reveal – a skill Rick now teaches his grandchildren
• Podcast hosts should have a clear mission statement and “North Star” rather than just creating content
• The “we factor” of interconnectedness matters more than individual competition
• The acknowledgments section of “Truly Significant” honors everyone who impacted Rick’s life
Visit trulysignificant.com to order the book and acknowledge the significant people in your life. For extra savings, readers can buy at a special discount at www.tinyurl.com/trulysignificant
Transcript:
Speaker 1:
If you’ve ever struggled with fear, doubt or worry and wondering what your true purpose was all about, then this podcast is for you. In this show, your host, sylvia Worsham, will interview elite experts and ordinary people that have created extraordinary lives. So here’s your host, sylvia Worsham.
Speaker 3:
Hey, lightbringers, it’s Sylvia Worsham. Welcome to Released Out Revealed Purpose. And today is a very good friend of mine, rick Tokini, and the first time I met him there were like 18 of us stuffed in this room and in church. We were all going through coaching, one-on-one training, and he was sitting a person to my left and when we went around the room I was so pleased to hear that he was also an author. Truly Significant is his 11th book. It was just released soft launch, but true launch July 1st for those who want to get a copy. Thank you so much for joining us today, rick. On Released at Review Purpose.
Speaker 2:
It’s good to see you again and I’m anxious to get to hear what’s been going on in your life, but we’ll talk about Truly Significant as well. So wonderful to be here, Thank you.
Speaker 3:
I was so pleased when you sent me a copy of At Least Two Chapters of Truly Significant, and I remember waking up. I woke up that morning, for God always does this to me. He always wakes me up at three o’clock in the morning morning. For God always does this to me. He always wakes me up at three o’clock in the morning. I don’t know if it’s a gig of his or not, but lots of my downloads come out at three o’clock in the morning, and one of the downloads was, or one of the persistent thoughts was get on your computer and read those two chapters and send something to Rick. So I’m like, okay, well, thank you, but three o’clock in the morning, really. So I read those two chapters.
Speaker 3:
I remember just being blown away and wanting more than two chapters. In fact, I think, if I remember correctly, I emailed you. Why didn’t you send me the whole book? I would have devoured it in one sitting. It was so good, and I know that you interviewed so many people for this book. So, rick, tell us why this book is so significant to you.
Speaker 2:
It’s a journey that God has me on and I consider myself a child of God, so it’s been such a fun and curious time and, as a fellow podcaster, you know that every time you speak with a new guest you get new stories out of them. And there was a point where we were approaching our 4040th podcast and I came across a, an old graphic that was found on a wall in Jerusalem in 33 AD, and it was that it has 40 points around it. Oh, wow, and what we’re doing is we’re putting in a little 33 AD in there, and so 40, 40. And so I started looking at patterns of what people had been talking about in the last 500 shows and it was all about next chapter stuff, next chapter in their lives, pivoting from what’s this quest for success and what am I supposed to do with my life and purpose. And then went deeper into our library of thousands of podcasts and found the stories that were really gold, like from Jane Goodall and when she pivoted to deciding it’s about saving people in the world and chimpanzees, you know. So these bigger messages came out. And then, all of a sudden, God just sort of just went wham and all these stories came to the forefront.
Speaker 2:
I go to this seminar, this deal, life care, with you sitting there talking, pouring my heart out, and Brian Brunson comes along and says he corrects me about five love languages. And he says you know there’s eight love languages. And he says you know there’s eight. And so he introduces me to Judson Swihart, Dr Judson Swihart, and he lands in the book because love is one of the foundations for being significant, you know, to be able to have a big heart and heart condition. So it’s like all these things are happening. And then, ever since then, it’s been transformative because I see people differently. Now I see them. What gifts can you give? What hour or minute can you give? And I think I’ve become kinder as a result of curating these stories. And it’s not about me, I’m just a vehicle for telling the story in my own folksy manner. It’s these people that are really significant, and so the byline became conversations with big-hearted people.
Speaker 3:
That’s awesome, my goodness. That’s awesome Because you’re right, you mentioned one point love, right, love is the essence. It was in a previous interview, my very first interview of this morning, the Dr Elise Janelle. She’s out of Toronto and she was talking about the yin and the yang. You know, our dark chapters are light chapters and love being how we center ourselves. And we know and because she even mentioned it too God is love. God is love and I know that this is God sent for you this truly significant book, those downloads that you referenced at the beginning of the interview. That comes from God. All these ideas that download come from him and you better be ready when they come, because sometimes it’s at 3 am, Like in my case. I better have notebooks sitting next to me because he’ll just start going.
Speaker 3:
And it happened to me in my first book. I didn’t know what I was going to write about. I had no idea, but god had prompted. You got to write your book and I remember asking him what am I supposed to write about, little me, what am I supposed to teach people about? And he’s like you, don’t worry about that, I’ve got that covered. You just be obedient, you just, I’m just asking you to step in the space, and I did just be my vehicle. I’ll do the rest. And that’s exactly what we talked about. We are responsible for the what and the when. He’s responsible for the how, but exactly we just allow, okay. So then I said, okay, fine, and then all of a sudden, the download started. That’s how we get there, and I find it so interesting that you know the cover of your book when you say 40,. 40 is a very big number in the Bible.
Speaker 2:
It is.
Speaker 3:
It’s huge 40 days he was out there, 40 days that Satan was tempting him, 40 days that Christ was preparing for the biggest job he came to do Ever, ever. You know, and I find it interesting.
Speaker 2:
I’m glad you said that because in the acknowledgments I decided, if this was my opus, I’m going to acknowledge everybody that ever mattered. I’m going to acknowledge everybody that ever mattered. And I put and I’m sure I offended some of my friends of other faiths, but I said Jesus is the most truly significant of all time. And then I went on to acknowledge every single elementary school teacher that I could remember, called up old friends to say what was their first name, and it ended up being the most cathartic thing to list every single teacher that meant something to me. And so that was it.
Speaker 2:
It’s almost like I poured my heart out and Carla, and I said, gosh, what if you put every neighbor that ever mattered to you? And we lived in 14 different places as we were getting promoted through P&G and PepsiCo, and the list just came out, and on and on, and I’ve sent everyone a book as of this week to surprise them. And some of them are going to go who are you? But I don’t care, because it’s like, oh my gosh, I got a chance to thank everybody who was ever significant in my life.
Speaker 3:
And how do you think God has transformed you through the writing of this book?
Speaker 2:
I actually think he’s changed my glasses. I’m looking at things so completely different and maybe it’s a more grateful heart, maybe it’s kinder, maybe it’s. If I see a neighbor fixing another neighbor’s fence, I go time out. Let me come over and thank you for that. No one’s thanking you, but what a great thing.
Speaker 2:
And then there’s a chapter in there about Dr Brian Simmons, who is the lead translator for the Passion Translation Bible. He’s made me realize that these little communities like this are similar to the first churches in Acts that people were around each other and they thrived off of each other, catching each other, doing things significant. It’s like so anyway, again it’s a child. So anyway, again it’s a child. I’m a child of God just taking this journey and every day is amazing. And I catch myself at the post office going oh, you’re such a good person, let me give you this book because I think your service is significant. And the lady yesterday said most of the time people want to just shoot us here at the post office. Anyway, it’s a new day and a new paradigm.
Speaker 3:
I find it refreshing to hear you say that, because a lot of people that I’ve talked to recently feel down. They’re so focused on the negative. They’re focused on all the news. I don’t even tune in on the news anymore, just because I want to just keep focused on the one person I need to stay focused on, which is God.
Speaker 2:
Yeah.
Speaker 3:
Keep my eyes on him, keep my eyes on the word. How can I bless people with my gifts? Where do you need me today? Those are my questions to him in the mornings as I’m having coffee chats with him, and it’s just tell me where I need to go. You’re the boss, you’re the boss, I just I’m your messenger and I’m grateful to be your messenger, and I just want to be more like you. So give me the opportunity to be more like you, and it sounds like that’s kind of what he’s doing with you too.
Speaker 2:
And all of these writing is what he’s doing and it’s um what I’ve.
Speaker 2:
What I want to do with my children and grandchildren is just express that to them, so they’ll carry forth that spirit to tell me a little bit about the story that most transformed you in the writing of Truly Significant it was a story that came out of Sierra Leone and it was a lady that was on the beach and I don’t need to name her name, but she’s talking to a friend of mine who was with Forward Women and she was telling her about her son that had been killed in the Civil War there in the country and she said my entire family has been wiped out by war. And then about five minutes into the conversation she says hey, son, come over here, I want you to meet somebody. And my friend says I thought you just said that your family was wiped out. And she introduces the young man. It was the boy that murdered her son. She forgave him.
Speaker 3:
Oh my goodness, I’m getting chills and adopted him.
Speaker 2:
That’s the story. That’s one of the first stories, because forgiveness is at the foundation of becoming significant putting the past behind you so you can see forward.
Speaker 3:
I was just blown away by that simple little true story that happened you know my mind is going everywhere as you’re saying this. I remember over Easter watching the Forge. I don’t know if you’ve ever watched that movie or not.
Speaker 3:
I haven’t but it’s from the Kendrick Brothers and the Kendrick Brothers are, uh, good friends of one of my very good friends, jason black, and he introduced me, uh, to their books. One of them is called the love dare. But they also have film, and the forge is the story of a young, um, african american boy who’s lost his way and his mom prays for him immensely. And along comes this this CEO of a company that wants to take time to mentor this young kid who is looking for a job. Right, because the mom kind of gives them an ultimatum. And halfway through the movie, as you were talking about this lady’s story, it brought me to this. He has this entire organization of men that they meet once a month or twice a month and they discuss god and god’s will for them and they kind of support each other. And they were all there, they were all african-, all African-American, except one gentleman. And when the young boy understands who that gentleman is, well, the one that leads it.
Speaker 3:
The mentor had lost a son to a drunk driver. The drunk driver was that man. He was now part of the community that he leads and mentors because of the forgiveness, because he said that when his son first died there was so much anger that Satan almost took him down. He almost lost his marriage, he lost almost everything, and forgiveness brought him back to life. That’s it, and it brought him back to his purpose. And you know, when we’re angry with God, sometimes that anger leads us to a person, a blockage of sorts that we have within us, the cage that we’ve put ourselves in through our choices and sometimes these are subconscious choices, because we carry these belief systems that are just not in our favor, right, and it keeps us stuck in these circumstances. But when finally, some change hits us hard and we look inward and we start inviting God into our story, we find that when we obey him, we find the joy that we’ve been seeking all along. And she, aside from being significant, probably now has more happiness because of that forgiveness than ever before. And this man you can see it like in the movie it just blows you away because some people can’t fathom forgiving people that have hurt them so immensely. But the minute you do it, oh man, you, just you fly and you’re able to just fly out of that cage.
Speaker 3:
I know, recently I asked God to share with me, to sift out the remnants of what was holding me back and he said look in your room and look at the scripture you put up on the walls and the answer’s there. And so I started looking at the scripture. It was really interesting and I had scripture from Job and James and Ephesians and all these things, and one of them, from Job, one line, just was super highlighted in my mind and I know that’s the Holy Spirit, and it said remove the sin from your tent. And I interpreted that as remove the sin from your heart. So I sat down I was like what is my sin? What have I done?
Speaker 2:
Right.
Speaker 3:
And what do I need to release so that Satan doesn’t have any avenue to come in through? I just don’t need any more spiritual warfare. So sat down, made a list of people I had kept a record of wrongs against and the verse from you know, the wedding verse love is patient, love is kind. Well, two parts of it, corinthians. Love is not self-seeking and love does not keep a record of wrongs and it’s not easily angered. And those three kept like being highlighted to me and I just thought okay. So then I made a list of all the people I had kept a record of wrongs. And you know what I did recently, rick, I started visiting these people in person.
Speaker 2:
Oh good.
Speaker 3:
And repenting and just saying if I’ve offended you in any way, please forgive me, and what I was searching for was a heart posture of humility. Yeah, yeah, so do tell me, because you froze up on me and you left me for a moment. Podcast host. Author.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, what else is left in this great world? Is that what the question is?
Speaker 3:
Yes, is this your divine purpose or is this seasonal for you?
Speaker 2:
This is. I know that this is divine purpose because this is the 30th year as a publisher of greeting cards with scripture. The 30th year and probably 14,000 different cards and designs and scripture on those cards over the course of the career. So this is the journey, but the part is almost like having glasses on and all of a sudden I got windshield wipers and they cleared up things because I have labored for the wrong reasons. Book one was about life lessons coming after mom and dad died. Who was that for you?
Speaker 3:
You To hear you.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, probably to see your name on the front of a book. Who gives a flying flip about that? It’s about one person who read one lesson. Barbara Bush wrote me and said, rick, lesson number five is one that I’m going to tell my grands.
Speaker 2:
That was the turning point, because I thought okay there’s a seed that was planted that’s going to get to all the Bush grandchildren, and so that was the beginning of wisdom that it only takes one great story to impart some lesson going forward. So get out of yourself, stop puffing yourself up and start being the curator of stories that belong to other people, that should be retold, that glorify God, and that’s it. That’s cool. I hope to do that for the remaining breaths of my life.
Speaker 3:
And I think you’re an amazing storyteller because, like I said, I wanted to read more. So this is your 11th book. You’ve been a writer most of your life. Did you have this on a vision board when you were a little kid, or what?
Speaker 2:
no, but I was blessed to be around people that weren’t weren’t afraid to begin and end the story, and now, part of that, this last chapter of my life is, I’m inspired to teach my grandchildren how to tell a story, because I think that that’s something that’s missing in education today. And so if you just if you start with reading them bible stories that are really simplified they’re so simple that they’re so pure and true from a storytelling perspective, almost like act one, two and three with a reveal. So that’s what we’re teaching them. And we talked to Henry the other day, henry and Margo that are now in Spain on summer holiday with their parents, and Henry’s not four, yet he’s telling us a story. And we go, oh my gosh, this is it, this is we it’s, it actually is happening, this is we, it’s it actually is happening.
Speaker 2:
A beginning, a middle, an end and a reveal. He said it like almost like that in order we went. Thank you God it’s happening.
Speaker 3:
That’s awesome. That’s that’s how it begins, you know. So, for anybody that has had that intuitive hit from God, write your book. It’s time, trust me. What tips would you give first-time writers?
Speaker 2:
These are going to sound cliche-ish, but I was told this a long time ago Pay attention to what you care about, but along the way and right from your heart, but along the way. Check with a few people as a matter of fact, up to 100 people to see if they care. Because you can as a writer, you can produce a book like that today and go self-publish. But who cares, you know? So it may start as just between you and God, but there’s got to be, in my opinions, a greater mission there of glorifying God. So you’ve got to register that somebody cares along the way, cares about that message and can take it forward, and when your story, a story or a little paragraph starts to be retold, you know you have it.
Speaker 3:
Yeah, you do. Well, when people just come back to you and just say I give me the rest of the book, you know, give me the rest of the book, don’t just give me two chapters. Yeah, I keep going back on that. I was like, dude, give me the book now. I’m just kidding as podcast hosts. You said you had like over 4000 episodes. How did you start the podcast? What was the idea behind it and how have you kept going? Because that is, you know, a lot of people start podcasts and then, just as soon as they start it, they end it. Give us some tips there, if you can.
Speaker 2:
It started after mom and dad died and it was a quest for life lessons and it started to go into its own motion, with its own inertia, because people wanted to come on and talk about their lessons and their mentors in life. So it went from lessons to mentors. Then CEOs started coming on talking about lessons of leadership and you’re all about leadership and I love what you have to say to future leaders. So then it went to entrepreneurs, inventors, designers, entertainers, and then at one point it was almost like every PR firm in the nation heard about it and wanted their person to come on and promote their book. It’s like hold it, this isn’t the Johnny Carson show, where you get five minutes of fame and you get to come on and promote. And so there was a point where Tim Moore, who was a partner with us at one time he was the over Financial Times Press and Darlene Kindersley and a bunch of other big name publishing companies he said you guys are all over the board. And so we went to.
Speaker 2:
We shifted to success, made to last and then beyond success and now it’s truly significant. So we’ve reinvented ourselves, which has kept us into we’re going on year 17. The weird thing, sylvia, is. I’m seeing people that I started with in the industry that are retiring. Years in podcasting much less all the attrition that’s taken place. Years in podcasting much less all the attrition that’s taken place. But when we started with a string between two cans, um and the audio sounds like it um, there were less than 8 000 podcasters and now there’s over 5 million yes, that I can attest to.
Speaker 3:
Holy moly. There’s so much, so many people out there, which is great to a degree. But sometimes you and I have talked about this, the noise. Unless there’s a purpose behind that noise, it’s just noise. So what, tell me? How can, how do we continue on these podcast shows Like what you know? You’ve reinvented yourself. That’s your story. For those that are starting out.
Speaker 2:
What tips for success, I guess, would you give to them. I would say this is very Stephen Covey of me to say this. But write a mission statement and a vision statement. Put it up on your wall where you can see it during every show and at least have some sort of North Star for yourself that says this is where we want to go. And when you start to stray from that, like we had 150,000 times, then you’ve got to come back to the star and put God in the middle, jesus in the middle of that star and have some greater reason for existing, besides just blah, blah, blah, blah, blah because there’s too many content creators. Don’t be just a content creator. Have some substance and focus, like Sylvia’s got. I mean, you’re on target with your message. Stick to your message. People Don’t wonder. The audience doesn’t want entertainment tonight, so remember that the audience is the hero, not you.
Speaker 3:
I love that, because so much out there is about me, me, me Got it, and in recent interviews, one of the main themes that I really love talking about was the we factor, the oneness, the interconnectedness. You and I are interconnected. It’s not just because we have the Holy Spirit inside of us, it’s because God put us in each other’s path, because I hold a key to your success and you hold the key to mine, and when we work collaboratively together, we’re unstoppable. The problem is when society steps in and all the subliminal messaging that is ongoing. Men and women are in competition with each other constantly. They’re not collaborators. You need to compete, you need to be better. It’s all about you, and all these messages are constantly in everything that surrounds us. That’s why it’s really important for us to choose who we’re going to spend our time with, what shows we’re going to allow our minds to absorb, because the issue here is we’re both coaches. We know this.
Speaker 3:
The subconscious mind has no filter, so it depends on what you feed it. That’s what it receives, and you gotta keep god at the center of it all, because when he strays, when any of our thoughts go in so many different directions I know that sometimes I wake up in the morning I’m so overwhelmed just from the amount of noise outside and inside my head. But then I go back to something I saw in the Chosen that really hit home for me and it was Matthew the tax collector and he’s telling the Roman soldier. He said you know, I sometimes wake up, I’m so overwhelmed with my thoughts, but then I just bring it back to one message Follow him, follow Christ, that’s it. That’s it, you follow him. The rest falls into place and it seems so simple, but to a lot of people it’s really complicated to do.
Speaker 2:
Yeah. So if you’re a podcaster or a young author out there, take heed to what Sylvia just said, because don’t go astray and off track in this. You can get into some really dark places as a podcaster and people that want to be on your show and have air time. As my daughter in Los Angeles says, who’s a film producer, the best answer to most questions is no, no, no, no. You’re not coming on my show. That’s all there is to it. You’ve got to represent the morals and some standards and core values and don’t let everybody on your show, don’t give them the air time. That’s what’s coming.
Speaker 3:
That’s what it’s coming down for us, because I get 33 requests every day holy moly it’s a lot showing, so I just so it’s um no no, it’s just, yeah, there’s some that I have actually considered, like I. When I interviewed them, I was like they have nothing really here to offer. It’s about them constantly pushing their stuff all the time and it’s like, oh, I want wisdom shared. I want for you to kind of tithe your skills for a moment, for 30 minutes, and just kind of help people get out of their own heads, like you’re doing right now with podcasters and future authors, because a lot of people have that on their bucket list to do. Get out of their own heads, like you’re doing right now with podcasters and future authors, because a lot of people have that on their bucket list to do and they’re so scared to take that step. I know I was.
Speaker 3:
I told God for 10 years that I wasn’t ready to be an author and he just kept. He was persistent and finally, when 2020 hit, he’s like it’s time, trust me, just write the book. He hid. He’s like it’s time, trust me, just write the book. And I’m glad I did, because I healed parts of me that I needed to heal before my father passed away. It’s that simple, because the book touched a lot on trauma in the first chapter and forgiveness in the last one and I came full circle and our story became very solid and the last four years of my father’s life were the best because I was able to be his friend. I’d been his daughter, I’d been his patient, he’d been my doctor, I’d sold viagra to the guy. You know, I I’d held so many different positions with my father, but the last one was friend and I was able to be there for him as a friend.
Speaker 2:
At the end Can I put that story into context. Sure, if people haven’t heard your podcast or your story, this is what I recall you are in a super cerebral family of all doctors, yeah, and there is this high expectation and there is this high expectation. So when Sylvia says something like that, prescribing something to her doctor dad, this is a family that might as well be general hospital, not the soap opera. So put that into context. People she’s in this high-powered, high-intellectual academia, much less practicing medical environment Really changes up. I almost think that you should. You don’t need to repeat that with every show, but put things into context like that, sylvia, because that’s the last four years of a physician’s life that it’s saved so many lives.
Speaker 3:
Yeah, right, yeah yeah. Physician’s life, that it saved so many lives. Yeah, right, yeah, yeah, he’s just, he was. He was a great man and I was just grateful I was obedient to christ so that I could actually close that chapter and do it in a way that was peaceful and loving yep and forgiving and just released me from a cage I had put myself in long, long ago as a kid, not unbeknownst to me until I went through therapy and uncovered it all.
Speaker 3:
And then, once I became a coach, it was even better, right? Not that I can self-coach, because that’s not always for those coaches out there. That is not what you want to do. You have blind spots, you need help. Go get help. Don’t ever think you can do this on your own, because you’re never alone. He’s always with you. But, yes, do get your help, because blind spots are tough to uncover sometimes. So any last minute tips, rick, any last minute comments that you want to share with the listeners who released out Reveal Purpose comments that you want to share with the listeners who released out Reveal Purpose.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, I want you to visit, I encourage you to visit trulysignificantcom. You can order the book from there. But, more importantly, the website opens up with an opportunity for you to acknowledge the truly significant people in your life, and our vision is to be able to take that information and honor your person through newsletter, a picture, a story, and just let God take over that. And if someone picks up that story and is inspired by it, isn’t that just great? Because somebody that should have been, or maybe could have been acknowledged is now acknowledged for what good they provided to you. So to me, this is a very authentic way of just saying great, great work. Just like your show, your books. You’re truly significant.
Speaker 2:
That’s what I’ll write in the cover to you. So that’s most important from my perspective. And then, if you have issues as a person, get professional help. Don’t drop the stigmas that you may have about need I can’t go to a therapist or I can’t be counseled. Yes, you can. That’s the start of wisdom when you recognize that you need help. So I would say that and just close in prayer to say thank you, god and Jesus, for letting us be on Sylvia’s program and for letting us be the vehicle for writing Truly Significant. You are the most truly significant, amen.
Speaker 3:
I so enjoyed having you on the show, Rick. It was such a pleasure.
Speaker 1:
So that’s it for today’s episode of Release Doubt Reveal Purpose. Head on over to iTunes or wherever you listen and subscribe to the show. One lucky listener every single week who posts a review on iTunes will win a chance in a grand prize drawing to win a $25,000 private VIP day with Sylvia Worsham herself. Be sure to head on over to sylviaworsham.com and pick up a free copy of Sylvia’s gift and join us on the next episode.