Rock bottom sometimes it looks like staying busy, staying “fine,” and quietly stacking coping mechanisms until your body and mind finally refuse to carry it anymore.
Kelsey Green talks about what burnout really felt like for her: nonprofit overwork, a side business for survival, daily drinking, a toxic relationship, major surgery, and the isolating pressure of COVID.
From there, we get honest about what actually helps with burnout recovery and trauma healing. She shares why deep therapy work can feel worse before it gets better, how PTSD can hide in plain sight, and why progress is rarely linear.
We dig into baby steps as a real habit-building strategy, especially when fear, doubt, and worry make “big plans” collapse. The goal is momentum you can sustain, not a perfect reset you can’t.
Then we zoom out to digital boundaries and mental health. We talk screen addiction, social media anxiety, and why streaming platforms and non-curated feeds can steal focus, creativity, and even your ability to sit in a quiet room and think.
Kelsey explains digital minimalism in a grounded way, including Screen-Free Sunday challenges, a no-streaming month, and how to balance creating versus consuming without turning life into a productivity contest.
If you’ve been craving clarity, community, and a life that aligns with your values, this conversation gives you a starting point you can take today.
Subscribe, share this with a friend who’s feeling stuck, and leave a review to support the show. What’s one digital boundary you’re willing to try this week?
To connect with Kelsey, visit her website at Kelseylgreen.com
To download a free chapter of host Sylvia Worsham’s bestselling book, In Faith, I Thrive: Finding Joy Through God’s Masterplan, purchase any of her products, or book a call with her, visit her website at www.sylviaworsham.com
Transcript:
If you’ve ever struggled with fear, doubt, or worry and wondering what your true purpose was all about, then this podcast is for you. In this show, your host, Sylvia Warsham, will interview elite experts and ordinary people that have created extraordinary lives. So here’s your host, Sylvia Warsham.
Hey light bringers, it’s Sylvia Warsham. Welcome to Released At Review Purpose. And today is Kelsey Green, and I loved reading her story of transformation. Now I’m not saying that I love that she went through burnout. Nobody loves reading about that. Or serious rock bottom. How many of us have hit serious rock bottom? A lot of us leads to our flesh just kind of taking over. We fall into the traps of alcoholism. We fall into traps of toxic relationships because we don’t know ourselves very well. We think we do, and that’s the problem. And then somewhere along the way, there is an awakening that occurs. It doesn’t happen right away, it sometimes happens years after the rock bottom. And I don’t know what Kelsey’s going to reveal in this interview. I just know that when I read her story, I was blown away for why she landed in this face of digital boundaries as it comes to mental health. I think it’s an important topic to discuss in that there is so much noise in the outside world, not necessarily good noise either. And when we have these opportunities that these trials and tribulations give us, opportunities to rediscover who we truly are, who we were created to be, and what we need to do to step into that purpose that we were created for. That’s what makes our life worthwhile. So without further ado, Kelsey, thank you so much for joining us on the Least Out Reveal Purpose.
Oh, thank you, Sylvia. I am so delighted to be here and to connect with you and your audience.
We are delighted to have you. And I know you have this story of transformation that you want to share with us. So please tell us a little bit more about this serious rock bottom and what happened.
Absolutely. Yeah, Sylvia, thank you. Well, uh, I’ll just give a little quick recap of, you know, the let’s say zero to maybe 35 years, you know, grew up in a family that had a lot of love, but also had a lot of drug and alcohol issues. I was raised by a single mom. My dad ended up passing away when I was 18. And uh I like many people that those weren’t things I really started to address until much later in life, right? And and I did some great things in my youth, my young adulthood. You know, I um traveled, I got my master’s degree, and I pushed, you know, and I and I knew probably eventually somewhere deep inside I was going to need to work on this. Um, but before that, you know, I did all the silly things that people do. And through this though, I did have a passion for helping, for service, and so my master’s and undergraduate degrees are both in environmental conservation and management. I cared, and I care still, of course, deeply about people and and the earth. But personally, I didn’t quite have an understanding yet as to how to go about that healing. So I found myself in a you know, a couple different rock bottoms, but the one specifically that really led to the pivot point was a rock bottom where I had been working in um nonprofit organizations. And because the pay was was so low, and because I’m a single-income household, I also had to be running a little business on the side, and that actually ended up serving me well eventually when I launched my own business because I had a business going, but at the time it was terrible, right? So working full-time, running a business, I was also drinking every day, and I was in a very, very toxic relationship. I also needed to have a very serious surgery for uterine fibroids, and you know, all and it was COVID, right? So that was really the icing on the cake. Honestly, you know, I’m I would never say I’m I’m happy about COVID and and all of the tragic deaths, you know, that and and suffering that happened. However, it did, as someone that utilized busyness as a coping mechanism, it did really help me, you know, look inward and find that starting point for the therapy and the deep trauma work that was needed because I couldn’t just go out and you know, do do events and be with people and be so busy, right? It really necessitated that that space uh for for reflection. So there was a yes, that was a pretty serious rock bottom. And the tough part, I think maybe other people have experienced too with rock bottoms is that you’re so mired in that space, in that sadness, in that darkness, you know, in those depths, that it’s really tough to see the light. It’s really tough to do things like get outside, get your body moving, look for a different job. It just seems impossible, right? So it did, it took uh quite a few years to to work my way out of that space.
So tell me how did you work yourself out of that space? I’m curious now, since you did mention it is rather tough. How did you pull yourself out?
Yeah, uh, very messily. No, uh yeah. Uh I would say I I’m a big fan of those baby steps, right? And also the idea that you don’t have to know what the end result is going to be to just take those little steps forward, right? So I started doing the deep trauma work. A lot of people this was definitely true for me, and I’ve heard a lot of people say this that when you start down this journey, it may get worse before it gets better. And that was absolutely the truth for me. So it felt like I was going in the wrong direction because things were getting harder. I was working on getting a grip on my crippling PTSD, which I had never addressed before. And it, you know, it got tough, it got really tough before it started getting easier. However, thank God I had heard these sorts of things before that you’ve got to kind of enter into the cave to be able to start to find your way out. You’ve got to go through it, you know. Uh, and so I had faith, I think, that it was going to get better. And and and you know, it’s also not linear. I think that’s a critical point to make that I’m sure you’ve talked to many people about is that it’s not healing, it’s not a linear journey, and that really helps me as well, you know, to remember that it’s that it might be two steps back, one step forward, then it’s five steps forward, then it’s a little slide back, you know, then it’s a circle, and then it’s a loopy-loop, right?
Yeah. But you mentioned a concept. Faith is not really seeing your path before you, but trusting that where you’re stepping is what’s gonna lead you to the path of greater joy and light. And I know for people, faith it’s scary to take that initial first step. What did that first step look like for you? What was that first baby step took?
Yeah. Well, honestly, I suppose because all of these things were happening at the same time that there were these little baby steps in each of these areas. So, you know, I mean, honestly, just moving forward with this very complicated surgery in the middle of COVID. I mean, the the steps were literally like calling the hospital, like, you know, talking to the nurse, then with the relationship. The little baby steps were questioning should I be crying every day? You know, the little baby steps were can I just get onto the platforms where there’s other jobs and just start looking. You know, it’s that and those energetic intentions that you can put forward that might not seem like action, they might not seem like an actual step, but it’s really about starting to kind of get that movement going a little bit, you know, taking these little baby walks outside, you know, a firm believer in in nature and the power of nature, so getting your body outside. If it’s for, you know, I I said I study habits quite a bit, right? And there’s different schools of thought around how to instill a new habit. But one that I really appreciate is if you are trying to change your body if you’re trying to get stronger, right? I don’t care much about weight, but I do believe women, you know, should be working on their strength as they get older. So if you’re trying to get stronger, let’s say you want to start walking and you want to be able to walk five miles, right? You know, I really firmly believe in these steps. Like the first step will be the first day to put your shoes by the door. That’s all you gotta do, you know. The set the next day you, you know, you put your socks on and then you like you have your shoes there. The third day you’re gonna actually put your shoes on. And and each of these each of these steps does not seem like much. Well, obviously, eventually you’re gonna like actually walk yourself outside. That’s all you gotta do. You gotta get back inside, you know. You don’t have to do more than that. Then the next day you’re gonna like walk to the end of the driveway and back, right? It’s these like teeny little steps, but it’s also not overshooting it. So many women that I work with say, like, okay, next week I’m going to, you know, walk two miles a day. I’m gonna like read a book instead of watching TV, I’m gonna change my whole diet, right? And um, you know, you pile all that stuff onto yourself and it you’re bound to fail, right? And then you feel crappier, and then you go back, maybe you even revert, right? Well, I call that the ego identity.
Halfway, when you first start change, you have this desire that really drives you to make those changes, right? Desire in my book is from the father, so I’m very faith-based. And so I’m I God has placed the desire in my heart. Okay, my change is gonna be to get outside and start moving, right? Like in my health. This is I’m gonna improve my health. Like you said, you have baby steps that you kind of build on. Then sometimes it’s a weekend, two weeks in, sometimes a month in, your ego identity will come. Ego identity is your self-image. If it’s comprised of fear-based belief systems, that’s what comes knocking on your door and starts to make you doubt that that changes actually for you. So the desires of the flesh and the soul’s desires are in constant conflict with each other. Your soul is pulling you to what’s gonna give you the joy and the love that you seek, what uh what we call the fruit of the spirit. The ego identity is gonna pull you in the opposite direction. And you’re gonna feel this conflict, and it’s horrible because there’s days, like you said, you take five steps forward and then you take a slide back, right? So the slide back could be you don’t get up when the alarm goes off, right? But then the next day you do it again and you push past that doubt in your head and you say, No, I’m getting up. Or like Mel Robbins loved to say with her latest book, The Five Second Rule, you count it backwards, five, four, three, two, one, get up. You know, you know exactly what you need to do because you’ve already felt that within your soul. It’s this pull you’re having, right? Otherwise, you stay stuck in that muck, in that darkness that that is fear-based. It’s where doubt live, it like thrives in the darkness, right? So then when we start doing the baby steps, you then start to push past the ego, the deception of the mind, and you start to gain some momentum.
Yes, right. I love that point.
Yeah, that momentum is what I call emergence in my book. And in Faith, I thrive, finding joy through God’s master plan. Emergence starts happening when you keep pushing past the deception of your mind that is hell bent on keeping you stuck in in darkness. It is just like, uh-uh, you’re gonna stay here because that’s what that’s what you’ve programmed my mind to do. Like, look at what how you’ve been programming it over time. This is what you’re going up against. But when you push past that and you start gaining some momentum and you actually get outside and start doing that first walk, and you feel the freedom that you start. It’s like, wow, this is like intoxicating, right? You want to continue doing it, you want to continue building that momentum. How did you find that momentum, Kelsey, for you?
Yeah, well, well, I just want to point out and really echo what you’re saying about momentum. There’s a quote, the more you do, the more you can do. And I think the inverse is certainly true. And this is not to encourage hustle culture, you know, productivity, we’re only worthy if we’re producing and having a lot of output, of course. But but I think of it more in terms of in your life, you know, the more, the more little courageous risks you can take each day. And for some people that that literally means leaving the house, just just going around the block, right? And I was there at one point for sure. So it seemed just a lot safer to stay in the in the house. And I would, yeah, there were times, and that wasn’t even COVID mandates, that was just my my own struggles with trauma, right? Yeah. And so the more you can push against that, and to your to your excellent point, the more you can gain momentum in the tiniest, teeniest little ways, you know, that you can really build on that and you can go far with the with the teeniest little baby steps of momentum. So I absolutely do just want to echo that point for for listeners. For me personally, it was um, you know, it was really being willing to step into that abyss. And I hesitate to say that because I I don’t want to freak anyone out that’s on this path. But I had, again, thankfully, you know, I’m just so grateful for this community of women that that are and men too, but you know, I work with women that that talk about these sort of things, you know. I had been told once you start to change your life, you know, once you stop drinking and uh once you launch your own business, you know, these friends in your life are gonna fall away and your your reality is gonna look really different. And I I believed that that was true for those people. I did not believe that was going to be true for me. I thought, right, but my friends are smart, educated women. We’ve been, you know, together for 15 years, we’ve been through so much together, all the things you know women can go through, right? Um, and I just assumed that that they would be there for me through my transformation. And in fact, no. You know, in fact, once I started down that path, I’d say, especially the getting a handle on substance use, you know, drinking and utilizing that as a buffer, as a coping mechanism, once I started to address that and speak about it, these relationships, some of them fell away naturally, and some of them, of course, had a little more, a little more drama around it. But but I really found myself even lonelier on the other side, or you know, as I was transitioning out of this space. And I thought, how could this be possible that when you start to change your life for uh you know, objectively the better, right? I am um functioning better, I am working out, I’ve shed this this wine weight, you know, my face isn’t puffy from crying every day. Objectively better. How is it possible that now I’m seeing people just just exit, you know, and it was very, very sad. And I bring this up because I want it was so critical for me to have heard that this is a journey that many people experience. Almost everyone I know that is in the entrepreneurial space has experienced this falling away of their previous relationships.
Yep. I can tell you for a fact, mine has been somewhat similar, and it’s in this transition right now that I’m having to come to terms with certain relationships falling off that are slowly falling off, you know. And these are women that in the midst of the darkness were there with me, yeah, but as I spiritually started to transform, they wanted to go into what was the easiest path, which is not to do the work. So continue to avoid the pain through busyness, uh-huh. Right? Yeah, and when you stay in that space, you’re not opening your heart to receive the abundance that God wants to give you. He’s heard all your prayers, he’s seen every bit of your journey, he wants to give you all of what you desire, but you can’t have it when you have people that are trying to tempt you to stay in the very things that kept you stuck for many years, unfortunately. You know, and it’s because it’s not that they’re doing it purposely to tempt you, it’s that they don’t they don’t have the awakening that you do. Yeah, they haven’t gone through that awakening, their journey is totally different than yours. And we always want to be in community, we don’t want to leave anybody behind. Like, I know I have felt like that, like I just want to help people come because I’ve seen what that can do, as I’ve been stuck there for too long. Like, and and but then I sat one day, Kelsey, outside in nature, because I have a purgola outside of my home, and I do this where I go pray and just be in nature and just you know see the butterflies and the hummingbirds, and just when I’m out there, I can feel the presence of God Himself, like in everything I see. It’s so beautifully done. Um one day I was just sitting out there and I had my journal and I had my pen and pencil and everything, and out came all the entire list of women that he had been sending me to be with me in this journey, in this transition, and saying, I’ve heard, I know what you’re going through, and I feel for you. However, it where you’re going, not everybody can follow you because they’re not there yet in their journey. They may get there eventually, but right now, if you stay behind, you’re you’re not gonna fulfill that purpose and the timing that I need you to fulfill that purpose because your life is impacting so many others. See what you have to share, Kelsey, that purpose that you were designed for has it impacts a master plan that we don’t know of. It is totally, it’s so much bigger than our linear lives and journeys. But the way you you share your journey, on the other side, there’s people listening that it’s in the way you’re sharing it that they need to hear it, to receive it, and start moving. That’s the impact of your life on others, on on the whole of humanity. So we when we surrender to just like our desires of our individual lives, and we give ourselves to the higher purpose, to the higher consciousness of what that plan looks like for everyone involved. That’s when everything starts to like just very rapidly trans start transforming. Um, that’s been my experience. It’s lonely in that I I feel for you. I I know that leaving those women, you know, that that core group of women, it must have broken your heart.
Yeah.
to do so.
Yeah.
But I’m sure in your journey you also found another community of women that showed up almost as unexpectedly as the ones you were losing behind. Do you do you have any perspective on that that you can share with us
Yeah, absolutely. I mean, yes, that that is for sure true. And I, you know, I teach a course on in-person community because I believe that despite the amazing things that can happen in the digital space, we really in-person community is very, very, very important. And I and because I had gone through this experience, I talk to people about what it looks like to have a core value change, right? And so you and I are most definitely coming at this from like slightly different perspectives in terms of our our spiritual journeys. But you know, I think we can all kind of agree on the you know the terms I think we use quite a bit are core values. And when these start to shift there’s just going to be a shift in the types of relationships that you have. And so what I do is encourage people to look at what are your core values now and they you know I kind of hope for everybody that your core values are changing a little bit over time, right? Like we don’t we don’t wear the same pair of jeans that we wore when you know we were 16. Not only because we wouldn’t fit in them but because they they were wacky. They let rhinestone from whatever we would we would we want to gracefully let things go you know and move on into our new elevated space that we’re at and and as we as we learn things and you know we don’t expect to keep all the things with us that we’ve had throughout our lives of course and I’m not sure why we expect that of of people but but anyway the point is yes I you know I think that looking at these core core values and and and just deter determining what is most important to you in your life are your relationships reflecting that right and and also visioning into what kind of person do you want to become and are the people around you supporting that vision right of yourself in your life and helping you to get there.
You know? Yeah so share one value that you found in your journey to be like that starting point for you.
Yeah. Well I’ll just segue into something I talk about a lot which is digital boundaries and in-person community right so I one of the values that I have now for any relationship is that they can be present fully present together in community in person right and this is tough because the Almighty phone lives right by our and it seems like maybe you know there’s more discussion about this now than there was a couple years ago and I think it will only exponentially increase as we realize how detrimental phones and some of these platforms streaming platforms are to our relationships and I argue our creativity our ability to focus you know but in terms of some you know something that we I know both care deeply about is you know relationships and connecting with people and sharing our stories and helping other people in this space right it’s it’s um it can be both wonderful and amazing you know you’re you are able to reach such a bigger audience and if you were in your neighborhood chatting with women you know that live nearby that could gather in your house of course and at the same time how do we this is a question I ask in many areas of my life but certainly with my digital use how you know how can this thing the phone the computer whatever it is whatever platform we’re on how can this support my values of connecting community rather than subvert them right so obviously I’m here on your lovely podcast we’re connecting digitally this supports you know one of my values of of service community helping women right but if I after the this interview if I go scroll for two hours on a non-curated feed you know when I could be out doing a thousand other things that does not support my sense of community nor does it support my own mental health or wellbeing right yeah so it must align is what I’m hearing you say.
It must align and that’s the the key to ask yourself the questions of what what is this aligning to the purpose right is this aligning to my you know the person I’m becoming who who’s surrounding me like I know today to give you some perspective last night I got into a conflict with my husband and this morning the very first interview was detailing like Christian values from the male perspective he was the the interview I was the the timing of it was very divine because I was searching for answers on as a wife what could I do in the interim while he cools off you know like from the Christian perspective what does the biblical marriage look like what do I need to do and he outlined it point by point you know who did I recruit this morning I recruited a group of women whose marriages I admire because I see their biblical the biblical design played out in full view for me and they are a role model for me. So I reached out to them and said I need your prayers this is what’s happening and can you please pray for protection pray that I don’t fall into temptation into something that is not in alignment with who I’m becoming and they were like of course we can do that for you. It’s an easy thing I can’t reach out to old friends of mine that are not believers because or if they are believers they’re they’re more in alignment with what the outside world is telling them to think based on what they’re scrolling through. Does that make sense? Okay so in reference to this interview I could see why God would be like this is why I’m moving you away from some of these relationships because when you fall into these dark spaces and you will because life there’s always storms coming at us right it’s never a destination you’re reaching it’s in the midst of the storms you will find joy and you will be in alignment but when that storm comes you got to be ready to fight it strategically not like crazily but very very strategically you know that there’s certain women that you will look to if if you ever fall into temptation again whatever that looks like for you for me it looks like being in this in discord with my husband for example that distracts my purpose because I’m moving the kingdom of God forward I’m gonna get attacked constantly now these are high level concepts in my own wording in my own faith right like you said we’re coming at it from different angles but it’s essentially the same thing because you you have the value system and if it’s not in alignment then it’s like I can’t move forward in this in this path but this is the path that I’m gonna move forward in because it’s in complete alignment to this value and it fits the purpose and the objective right so now what what do you see your purpose being is this seasonal for you or do you think this is it this is the divine purpose you were created for well I believe that there you know is a path that we can walk and we are allowed to ask these questions as we go right so I think that there’s there’s space to be learning and I one of the things I I value one of my core values is lifelong learning right and and asking critical questions.
So that means asking critical questions about society about some of the things that we’re being told internalized messaging and also my own brain so one of the one of the quotes I really appreciate is don’t believe everything you think and we can get a little bit you know a little bit trapped I think but also now that we are existing in highly curated uh echo chambers you know in social media we have obviously lost a little bit of tolerance for other ways of being other ways of thinking and so I I want to be open to asking these critical questions of both others but also of myself and making sure that I’m I’m not falling into a um a little bit of a a trap of of not um being open to other ideas. So in terms of my purpose I I’m willing to accept that that is that is something that I’m discovering along the way and I’m glad for that because if I had I if I had attached which I did for a long time attached to the purpose that I thought I had which was I was a scientist you know I was out in the field I was a biologist and I had wanted that so badly and I had envisioned that for myself so much and then I you know being out in the field was really neat in some ways but very for a non-scientist really really boring right so I did I did the closest thing I could find which was working in those fields you know in the in the funding side at the in the administration side also very boring but at least that there was people around you know and so I you know if I hadn’t been willing to step out of the mold that I had so intently created for myself and question what why why am I so attached to this idea?
Oh it’s just because I’ve been working towards it for so long right the destination that you thought was going to give you that fulfillment you were seeking. And then when it doesn’t you’re like oh my goodness what have I been doing all these years yeah you know like at some point my therapist asked me and just in relation to work why are you trying to climb a ladder that you don’t want to get to the top of like oh yeah offended like well doesn’t everyone want to be top bureaucrat like you know it was it was such an astute question and and I keep asking myself that you know like yeah well that originates from somewhere think about it like that idea came to you early on in your childhood you just don’t know that it’s that’s the whole purpose of therapy is to identify where’s where is this coming from this idea that you had that you form an attachment to and then you work work towards it and then you get there and suddenly the epiphany is where’s the fulfillment where is the happiness where is the joy where where is all these things that as human beings we’re built to want and to desire right but then you’re like okay that’s where you’re you’re I really love what you said at the end where you’re willing to stay open. Yeah because when you stay curious and when you stay open first of all let me commend you for that because not very few people stay open and curious I love I mean I do my best I do my best we all we all fall we’re all straight we’re all gonna fall into traps because it’s we’re we we we’re not perfect we’re not we’re not perfect human beings we are going to make mistakes now in those mistakes there is there are clues that are left behind there are lessons left behind.
What do you think was your greatest lesson for you in those in those clues yeah I think you know I’m just like just to stick to the theme of of following following a path even though you can’t see the end of it and actually I had something on my wall for a long time that said you create the path by walking it right and so I really appreciate this idea that there isn’t actually a predestined place for us to go. And that’s you know I like that idea I I would I would be like fine with adopting it you know because it I think it’s very cozy but I believe that we can create this by staying curious by being a lifelong learner by staying open and walking it I do believe that you that things are going to be a lot when I say easier I don’t mean there’s not going to be complications or logistical challenges or struggles but for example right now I’ll just tell you a personal kind of anecdote I’m I’m really leaning into more writing more creativity more art just for the sake of art and you know as a business owner sometimes you know you gotta create the content you gotta optimize you got to be you know working on those revenue streams all this stuff right because you have to make a living I do at least and so it’s tempting to fall into that uh but what I’m really embracing right now is creativity just for the sake of creativity. Why I don’t know right it and it’s it’s not that my my collages that I’m doing now that I used to do and let go of because they seemed very childish or whatever. It’s not as if I’m going to be selling those or there’s a a purpose I can really see but it just feels right to do it.
It feels expansive you know it feels motivating it feels like I’m gaining momentum when I’m doing it despite the fact that I’m just sitting alone no screens you know podcasts no music sometimes right just sitting alone and creating that feels right I’m just gonna follow that you know and as I do things and people start to appear you know like it it’s just um you’re attracting what you’re visualizing like when and this is the part of the mind that people forget about the power of the imagination imagined things for the mind is truth to the mind it doesn’t it doesn’t distinguish between reality and what’s imagined to the mind it’s truth. So when you sit and you create this is something that the soul is pulling you to do the soul has the identity that you were initially born with before the trauma layered on top see when fear layers on top of the light within us it’s very hard to like you said earlier in the interview it’s very hard to see the light when you’re in darkness right your light is waiting to be discovered on the other side of that darkness. And like you said earlier it sometimes feels like you’re not moving towards that light but you actually are when you stay curious and you create instead of question and stay stuck and you know what I mean when you allow your your your soul to guide you your soul knows what you need to go through what you need to create in order to receive the healing necessary to move and level up to the next level that’s waiting for you whatever that is and everybody’s level up is different. That’s why the journey that you’re on is the answer to other people stuck at the big like at the start of your journey and when you start to write and reveal that story within you those are their keys to their movement forward if that makes any sense right and our creativeness is what helps us like stay open and stay moving forward and stretching and the imagination we start to see and focus our minds on those things that we are creating that you have to intentionally focus on those things because the negative mind the negative especially with social media out there this is where it starts to really make a difference in people that do the work that you do versus the ones that scroll okay the mind is conditioned to look for the negative in every situation the victimy the the negative consequences like the woe is me. Okay you have to intent and any therapist will tell you this you have to intentionally focus your mind on what you want and who you want to become the collages that seem like childish they’re actually not they’re a very important tool to start guiding your mind. It’s the GPS you’re kind of creating for your mind so that then effortlessly these things start to appear on your door and it it’s not that it’s easy because you’re still doing work. You’re sitting down doing the work right but it’s not work that’s like it doesn’t feel like work anymore. It feels like you are leaning into what your soul is asking you to do. So it’s like something that’s already innately part of your gifting if you will and when it’s innately part of your gifting it’s easy to attract that abundance in your life because it’s it no longer is work. It’s like I don’t know how to describe it it’s just something that has happened also with a lot of the interviews I’ve done I’ve seen this thread quite a bit that when you lean in you stay curious and you do the work that the soul is asking you to do everything starts falling into place into full alignment. And it’s like your ego soul and spirit become one and then it’s like boom you’re there you know and then level up again and it it starts all over again.
But it’s always staying curious and you’ve learned these lessons along the way now you’re applying whereas before you didn’t you don’t even know where to start right right right yeah and just to bring it back to social media because I think that this is a critical point and then this is a you know one of the topics I speak on a lot is they are created these platforms are created and streaming platforms to be highly highly highly addictive to our brains right and the more that we engage in those platforms in that way without any boundaries without any intention without any curation without any curiosity or questioning what’s what’s going on here the less I think we can follow those paths right that our soul is calling us to do. The less the less we have less space we have in our lives for our own creativity for our own creation and just for our own thoughts right to actually sit and think and I think we are we are really losing this ability to sit in a quiet room and think sit outside and look at the trees without you know I love podcasts I presume you know you do too you’ve got one I speak on them and I could listen to podcasts all day long. Love them love them but there’s um one of the one of my mentors talks about creating versus consuming and I used to think well my my the type of consumption I have is so much better now than it used to be you know I’m listening to all these great business podcasts and spiritual leaders and you know very smart women and that’s so much better. Yeah okay sure but you’re still actually just consuming consuming consuming right and not creating so can you try to balance those scales a little bit right where you you know I mean I think it’s so valuable and we are we’re so lucky to live in a time where there’s such amazing content and we can learn so much can you also still dial that back a little bit and create more space for your own creativity and focus and I will just say the the more that I that I limit my consumption the better able I am to focus and bring my work to life I think we all believe we’ve got ADHD now and some of us sure sure do whatever but I think a lot of us are just on social media too much and utilizing these platforms and letting our brain you know we’re kind of foraging for this fake dopamine and then we can’t really do our work anymore. So I just want to say you know in terms of an actionable strategy for people it really does make a difference. For example right now I’m doing no streaming month and I certainly watch a lot less than most people but not having any TV at all at any point is has been so illuminating because I all of a sudden have so much more time you know than I thought. We all say, oh, we don’t have time. Uh we’re all so busy. But really once you take away these sorts of things, you have a lot of time in your day. And the space in my brain and also the drive to get back out into the community, you know, go to events, go to restaurants is so much stronger because I don’t have these parasocial relationships taking up my time. You know, that when you especially if you’re watching these series with people that you kind of consider friends, but of course they’re not. They’re just characters, fictional characters. You know, when you when you can limit that and get yourself back out into the real world, you know, it it I think it makes an amazing amount of difference in your life. It can.
Oh very much so and I’m in complete agreement with you. Because we all fall traps to what like our weaknesses are some of us it’s Netflix like binge watching or whatever. And it’s imagine all that time that you can capture and what what would you do with that time if if you didn’t have these streaming things? Like what would your mind do? It’s kind of like the concept that we tell our children I have an uh seem to be an 11 year old and she loves her tablet and then I tell her I was like I love you too much to get you a phone because she’s like I want a phone I’m like no you’re not getting a phone you don’t need a phone because then what you’re gonna go from two hours that I leave you um as the gift of two hours you want to extend it to four and to six and to eight and where does it end it doesn’t and you’re a child you have stopped going outside and playing outside like when we were kids you’re young I’m 51 so I’m gonna have to tell this like when I was outside we were outside all day in in the South Texas weather that’s really interesting how that worked out but we were on our bikes and we were creating forts and all these things all our imaginations were like really strong and we were very imaginative creative beings and then all of a sudden the other end of the phone and it just kind of took that down and in this day and age I mean you see the influences of the negative influences of social media the the comparison traps the imposter syndrome the I mean it’s all these things that people fall like like trap to yeah and they think well this is how everybody’s life is no it’s actually an illusion it’s like perfection and control they’re all illusions of the mind so so is social media it’s an illusion that people create that the filters that they use to create perfect images. I’m like when I go online now I don’t know if this is something I did as a form of staying real with the community the community that follows me for my book on Facebook when I do my videos now I don’t wear makeup in the mornings because I’m dropping off my daughter and then before I enter my house like I’m I’m still like I don’t look made up I look like a mom and I’m just sharing with them vulnerably this is what happened this is what I’m staying open to and the reason why I don’t put on makeup is the perfectionism that we’re constantly seeking that’s an illusion that that doesn’t exist. We we found that out very quickly control another illusion that we found out very quickly during 2020 there was we had no control it happened to us this whole thing of being indoors happened to all of us across the board and there was zero control people had for months for a year and then it started slowly but then now people with the advent of social media it kind of goes poof and back to scroll one we go back.
Yeah that’s the problem with social media all right and I’ll just go ahead just to just to follow up on your comment so make sure it we don’t go buy it you know I really applaud you for not giving your daughter a smartphone and I bet there’s immense pressure around that from her and I bet a lot of her friends have it but um just to point out an amazing resource it’s called the anxious generation it’s a book you know parents I think parents of of k of kids of any age should read it the anxious generation and it’s gonna it’s gonna probably s scare you because all the things you already know about you know you’ll just learn so much more but basically the thesis of the of that book was um he doesn’t he it’s data driven so I really appreciate that he isn’t pretty conscious about the damage especially to young girls and he basically says for for any kid you know the the instant that you give them a smartphone their childhood is over it’s not just about the time that they’re gonna spend on it it’s about obviously the stuff on the internet and parents these days honestly are just not you know they’re they’re so much more tech savvy they will blast through your parental controls in a second you know so it doesn’t it doesn’t really matter what you’re trying to do.
Well and yeah I do tell my husband’s like you’re an electrical engineer you can look through the history of where she’s been yeah you know and I don’t know if that matters or not but to me it’s like what are the themes because there’s themes that she comes up with that I’m like where are you getting this from? And so I now know that there’s some themes that she’s getting into with some of these videos and that she watches right and so I for a while I had I was like you are not to go on YouTube because YouTube doesn’t have those controls. They supposedly like quote unquote had the controls but they really don’t they don’t block the content from children and they’ll the it’ll penetrate past the the firewalls or whatever supposedly set up to to protect them there’s no protection really that’s an illusion again so I thank you for for yes there’s a lot of pressure yeah I’ve got oh it must be hard there’s a lot of pressure from the friends like why can’t she have something and I’m like because I know the dangers of this thing and I know the dangers as it applies to anxiety as it to ADHD as it applies to suicide as it applies to as girls start to develop and the hormonal changes in their body and what it does to their brain yeah in those moments like if if they have access to my daughter where they can bully her online that is also a dangerous spot and we’ve seen suicide climb in young children because of the advent of this anxious generation. This is something documented over and over again but nobody’s really talking about it because it’s it is it is scary to talk it’s so scary.
It’s so scary. Yeah I bet you know as a parent it must be must be honestly quite terrifying. And it’s interesting because I I’m not a parent and I and I don’t focus on work with kids but I kept getting so many questions from people as I do more work in the digital minimalism space about their kids you know so I was like okay well I I should research this but what’s interesting is that um and I would say it’s it’s it’s so much more harmful for young people absolutely but also the parents that are asking me don’t really have a grip on their own digital use. Yeah you know they’re they’re addicted to their phones just like their kids are but they don’t have the excuse of having grown up with it you know that’s a choice that they can make. So I you know I I focus more so on working with adults but I am heartened to see that there is legislation being passed around controls and around some of the tech companies needing to take responsibility for not having put those those you know protections in place right not having any verification needed or anything like that.
So I you know I think that I think that there’s awareness that is growing for sure but it you know I would say like many things I I’m glad for that we can do our activism work in that space and let’s look internally in in our own houses you know I just as an example I run these screen free Sunday challenges and that’s a screen free Sunday just like it sounds right and I was shocked at how hard this was for people I thought it was a really dumb challenge honestly I thought like well what’s gonna be the issue it’s Sunday people are home with their families you know maybe they’re I don’t maybe want to church maybe they’re you know getting ready for the week but you know we don’t need to be on our screens whatever and people just couldn’t do it could not do it no they they they have to have it they yeah it’s like and this is it’s interesting in 2023 we took our son who had who is addicted to screens by the way like very addicted yeah we’ve tried to talk to him about it it’s just like he’s also 20 so there’s only so much we can do at this adult yeah we were traveling because it was his graduation present and we were in in London but actually we were in Scotland and we ran into two neuroscientists and we started talking about screens and how they said that they don’t allow their children to be on screens because they had done their research for these tech companies and that’s why they knew how addicting these things are and and when we tried to explain that to to our son he was just no no and it’s like dude the science backs it up like there’s research on this this isn’t like what mom and dad want you to do although yes it’s in alignment with what we want you to do.
The research backs it up oh yeah the research is prolific abundant definitive I mean there’s no there’s no doubt about it right and I’d say that anxious generation book does a great job of laying it out without you having to do you know a couple years of research on your own. But you can just you know anyone if you’re interested in this topic and you can Google it in two seconds you’ll have academic peer reviewed articles on this topic you know there’s there’s tons of research. But but but the screen free challenge is the point I was going to make though is these parents you know their kids were going to be home all day and they couldn’t do the challenge. And that made me really sad because I assumed that for parents it was like oh my kids are going to be at school and I you know need to have my notifications on because something might happen and I get that logic. But that wasn’t what it was it was that their kids were home and and they still couldn’t be off their screens and that made me very sad.
Yeah yeah there’s no my biggest rule at the house and I mean it has met like horrible amounts of resistance of screens at the table when we’re having dinner I’m like no and they’re like no no we want I was like no put it up put it up even with my own husband like he’ll wake up he’ll be having breakfast and the screen is right there. Like constant I’m like dude we’re modeling for these kids we gotta model they’re always watching us and then they’ll call us hypocrites because well you can’t hold it so why should we and to a degree they have a point right like you and I were discussing it’s like they do have a point. So now my like my next level that I’ve been called to in in my faith journey is to do um two things fasting which kind of is a a really extreme you know concept in and of itself but it’s not just fasting fruit wise fasting screen right like you have to stay completely away from all distractions. Excellent okay and so fruit is a distraction screen is a distraction you know and it’s the fasting and it’s um the bidance of the Sabbath day now the Sabbath day you don’t um you’re there to serve others and it could be an enjoyment game but the screens have to leave the room like everything has to like our presence has to be with our families yeah and enjoyment and rest and the fasting from all these things that are like distracting us constantly from our source. In my case my source is God so it’s to focus my mind on him and on him only and that it I could be in nature doing all this I just cannot eat or drink you know throughout the day and it’s like a 24 hour fast and it has to happen once a month apart apparently and you don’t drink any water I don’t know that the water is included okay it is it’s just water it would be just good good good it would be crazy right but so I was telling the the the people my my mentor at at the church she’s um hayley carter from gateway north and she’s she’s the one guiding me on this she’s like you’ve got to like step into these roles now um but I’ve been a little hesitant because it’s like oh my goodness what is this gonna do but she’s like initially it’s scary because you’re you’re not used to it right so it’s fear of the unknown is a big deal right but once you start doing it you realize that your mind gets very very clear. It’s kind of like what you were talking about the creativity like it like there’s this insurgence of creativity. Well when you don’t have the distractions your mind tends to focus on what the soul is asking you to focus on whatever that is everybody’s different right in my case it’s like okay you are a leader of the church you’ve got to start focusing on the source and the only way to do that is to I mean completely remove yourself from all distractions I’m like oh my goodness that is gonna be but I’m actually looking forward to it I just don’t I need to understand how it’s gonna work you know like and so they they have me reading all sorts of books to kind of like in preparation for it so that I don’t feel like you know how anxiety can climb in you if you don’t know what you know for some of us.
Yeah yeah I have a survey I do after these screen free Sundays and it’s so fascinating to see people’s experience and generally it goes and my own too is that it’s very tough um at first it’s very tough and it’s very tough in the moments that you’re so used to a certain type of routine like you always turn on the TV when you get home from work and then you watch that through dinner you know if you’ve got those really set routines that’s tough. So let’s say yeah the first the first couple hours it’s very hard to be off screens and combining with a fast oof you know but then that clarity starts to come with the feeling of being a little bit more light without these distractions and once you get through it and I think as your as your mentor um indicated you know you you your brain does start to change a bit and then when these distractions come back in you know you feel huh like the the day after the screen free challenge 24 hours without screens that means no music no podcasts you know things like that when those things come back in even just after 24 hours it feels very loud very busy in my environment for you know and I kind of I miss my own thoughts because now I’m just absorbing something else this external well and the higher consciousness engages with us through our thoughts the higher level consciousness these higher level of beings address us through thoughts it’s not through anything else so it’s it’s to come back to the oneness of the thoughts and like and within yourself.
It’s it’s an interesting concept it and but like I said it we’re coming at it from different angles essentially it’s the same thing essentially it is the same concept moving forward. But um Kelsey it’s been such a pleasure having you on the show. If we wanted to work with you how do we find you absolutely yep um my website is Kelsey L like Lemur Green Kelsey L Green um knowi at the endagreen.com and my Instagram handle is the same at KelseyLgreen I’m on LinkedIn so yeah I would I would love to connect with your audience I run these free screen free challenges and I work with people around in-person community and I have a mastermind that I run for women and one of the pillars of the mastermind it’s a six month container is digital boundaries I use the code word focus because I don’t want to freak freaking out but yeah it’s it’s helping us to get off of our screens and bring forward the work that’s on our heart so that’s awesome well thank you so much once again for that information and for the listeners who released that reveal purpose remember Matthew 514 to be the light be the light like Kelsey’s been the light get out of your darkness out of that burnout out of those addictions step into the role that you’re meant to play in this life do it unapologetically with as much courage and faith as you can and those baby steps are essential like Kelsey said in the interview whatever those look like for you do that and do try this this last um challenge that she has I think it would be very beneficial to you and to your family to remove those screens for one day and just try it out. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain so as for you Kelsey thank you for joining us very very much and for the listeners of Released Out Reveal Purpose have a beautiful and blessed rest of your day.
Bye bye now thanks Olivia so that’s it for today’s episode of Released Out at Reveal Purpose head on over to iTunes or wherever you listen and subscribe to the show. One lucky listener every single week who posts a review on iTunes will win a chance the grand prize drawing to win a$25,000 private VIP day with Sylvia Worsham herself. Be sure to head on over to sylviaworsham.com and pick up a free copy of Sylvia’s gift and join us on the next episode.