What if your biggest detour was the doorway to a truer life? That’s the pulse of our conversation with Arlene Cohen Miller, who traded a steady legal career for a practice rooted in coaching, mentoring, and meditation. We unpack how a mother’s quest to support a neurodivergent child can become a mirror for her own nervous system, values, and boundaries—and how the tools that help our kids often end up healing us.
Arlene takes us from a scrappy storefront law office and new motherhood to building a community that replaced competition with generosity. She shares the messy middle: navigating two divorces, hearing “put him on meds” from every direction, trying nutrition and alternative care, and sitting with the guilt when expert plans went sideways.
We get tactical about life at work. Arlene now helps executive women and founders negotiate from the heart, bringing confidence and calm into daily conversations where stakes feel high. Think love-based negotiation, practical boundaries, and the mantra “practice makes permanent” to strengthen new habits and neural pathways. By the end, you’ll have a blueprint: curate your tribe, let nature recalibrate you, visualize better responses, and return—gently and often—to the purpose you’re building.
If this story resonates, tap follow, share it with a friend who’s at a crossroads, and leave a quick review to help others find the show. Your words help us reach more people who are ready to trade pressure for presence and build a life that feels like them.
To download a free chapter of host Sylvia Worsham’s bestselling book, In Faith, I Thrive: Finding Joy Through God’s Masterplan, visit her website at www.sylviaworsham.com
Transcript:
unknown:
This is my friend.
SPEAKER_01:
If you’ve ever struggled with fear, doubt, or worry, and wondering what your true purpose was all about, then this podcast is for you. In this show, your host, Sylvia Warsham, will interview elite experts and ordinary people that have created extraordinary lives. So here’s your host, Sylvia Warsham.
SPEAKER_02:
Hello, light bringers, it’s Sylvia Warsham. Welcome to Release Out with Real Purpose. And today’s Arlene Miller, and she’s out of Colorado, and I know she has an amazing story of transformation to share with us. So without further ado, welcome Arlene. Please share with us that amazing story of transformation.
SPEAKER_00:
I don’t know, those feel amazing to me because I lived it and I lived through it all. So when I was 15 years old, I decided I wanted to become an attorney. And I did that. I went to Emory University. I went to University in Kentucky College of Law. That’s where I grew up in Louisville, Kentucky. And so I became an attorney. And I got married in my second year of law school and moved up with my then husband up to a suburb of Cleveland. And I passed the Kentucky bar, but I had to go past the Ohio bar. And I worked for a couple of years for a solo practitioner and then decided that it just really wasn’t for me working for other people. And I really couldn’t find a big firm to hire me. And I really didn’t know what I wanted to do, so I went out on my own. And I started my own little solo practitioner office. And about a month after I opened the door, I was like in this really cute little storefront office. It was not fancy at all. I was with two other attorneys, the collect an employment agency, and later a guy that um did um help businesses collect their debts. So um I opened my little office. It was before the age of computers and all that kind of stuff, hardly just for just the ri really rudimentary that um legal secretaries would do. And I immediately found out that I was pregnant. And so all my family, all of them were in Kentucky, as well as all the colleagues that I graduated from law school with. So I had no tribe. And um I just learned how to build my own tribe and still um build my business, which was really I mean, the first year I was working part-time because it was impossible. I tried having him on a little swing in my law firm. That didn’t work. I found a lovely, lovely grandmother who was taking care of children in her home, all heart. And uh so she was my godsend and she took care of my son when I was working. And um, when she got ill, her daughter was in her early 20s and was like the nanny for the rest of the time that I lived in Ohio. Um I sold my business um when he mine and we moved across country to Longmont, Colorado, to that I could buy into this law firm that I was a part of until about eight years ago. And when I was um about the last six or seven years that I was practicing law, I have some absolutely amazing women friends, and one had started her own coaching school. She became a certified coach, but she just felt like the way they taught was like way too heady and not enough from the heart. And so she started her own school, and after three years, she she said she kept on saying, You you this could really help you, Arlene. I’m like, nah, I’m good. But you know what? She was right. You know, I really didn’t know, it didn’t teach me how to listen, it didn’t really teach me that kind of big heartfelt coaching presence that you can use for everything. So I got my diploma in coaching and mentoring, and then I had a friend who did the same thing as a counselor, and so I got a diploma in transformational holistic counseling from Australia. Um, I can’t use it in the US, but it it helps me do what I do. And I also, another one of my friends um started doing this certification for meditation, so I took that as well. I thought, I’m a little bit of a hyper person, I can be a little bit uh driven. That would really help me in my practice to uh to help people. So I got all of that, and then I really just noticed that I I’d been practicing law for over 30 years, and I needed a change, and I really wanted to help people in a new way, and that’s when I opened up my new business duel consultancy for coaching and mentoring and meditation and things that can just really help people to move forward. Not that different from the practice of law, but I get that more hands-on approaches that I’d like I call it a different side of the jewel. So that’s this that’s the short story.
SPEAKER_02:
You know, it sounds like you have been very busy for a long time, but I bet that shift that occurred for you occurred after something major, like a turning point. What do you what do you think that was for you?
SPEAKER_00:
What shifted? Well, I had a lot of turning points in my life. Um, I’ve been married and divorced twice, and um both of the men are lovely kind men. It’s just there’s there was like after a while, there wasn’t that affinity that you needed to have for a marriage. And so I divorced my first husband when my son was like two and a half. Like I told him I wanted a divorce when he was two and a half, and my son um sort of developed, you know, tendencies for ADHD, and I didn’t realize at the time that it was a carrier, that I had the same thing, more of an ADD variety. And I just knew that I needed to help him, you know, that I needed to find a way that he could interact with people in a way that that was gonna work for him. And so as his mother, I looked everywhere, you know. I looked to healers, I looked everywhere, um, naturopaths, homeopaths, because I really didn’t want to just stick him on drugs right away. Um, we ended up doing that later because nothing else was working. Um but his path, my I I thought I was helping to heal him, but that was helping to heal me. You know, just to to try all these different kinds of healing modalities, meet all these people that really were wanted to be in service to other people, help other people heal in in non-traditional ways. And it just sort of changed the trajectory of my life. And um, it was not easy, you know, to be a mother of someone that needed more attention. But uh, much to my surprise, he turned into a really, really lovely man. Um, he’s now um an amazing entrepreneur. He works with um, he became a chess champion in Colorado in the 10th grade. That became one of his passions in addition to karate. And so he teaches chess to kids in before and after school programs, runs chess tournaments, um, chess camps in the summer. But, you know, I had to learn also as a part of that transformational healing as a mother, maybe some of you guys will relate to this, that I needed to step back and I needed to allow him to fail. And that was not an easy thing to do, you know, as a mother, just to say, you know, hey, I I have to allow my son to get fired from a job or fall flat on his face. Um, so those were, I mean, there was a lot of different transitional points in my life. It wasn’t just one thing, it was like a series of things, but that’s where it began, we began with him.
SPEAKER_02:
I love that story because as you were talking, my mind went back to the years where I two divorced, and my son, when I married my second husband, started showing signs of ADHD, and he actually had the hyperactivity portion to it. And like you, I dove into modalities to help him. And but initially, with his hyperactivity, it was getting very disruptive at school, that becomes a real issue. Um, and the school district said, Well, we can do 504 planning, but it might help to put him on something. And we unfortunately started the medication route, and it’s unfortunate because it turned out that his was more anxiety driven than it was ADHD primarily. And so what ended up happening was that the medication that they put him on, the stimulant, actually made his anxiety worse. And so that’s where the um the failure for me came in. And I think, in part, like the guilt that kind of came with that later, because I should have known better. But the truth was here’s the truth. This is what the mind does. The mind will tell you what a failure. How could you not think of this? But the truth of the matter was, I was following doctor’s orders. These guys are supposed to know how to guide patients in this and not automatically put kids on medication. I agree with you. I think the medication route is too fast of a solution. And the meditation route, I taught him meditation later when he was in high school because he had to be taken off the medication eventually when his OCD got really bad. And um, and he started having suicidal thoughts, which is what some of these medications will promote a lot of. And certain kids, not all kids get them, but in certain kids they did. And it scared us. It scared my second husband and I so much that we said, no more. We we went the supplement route and we did nutritional route. I mean, I went I dug into everything, but it’s interesting how you said that as you dug into more of the modalities, it was really to help you as well. My god, yes. Um, because I found the same the same thing to be true about myself, because I was the one that passed down the ADHD portion. And later, genetically, I did a blood work just recently and it showed very low dopamine levels, and both my parents had passed on that gene, and so the doctor explained it’s no wonder your kids are suffering from ADD and that you are as well, because you’re not biologically, you you were kind of messed up. So there’s like no way that you could have done it any other way, but the way that you did it. And I always think that God places us to be the perfect mom for our children. We were the ones that that end up having the same things, and and he knows us, he knows that we’re gonna be research people and we’re gonna dive into these things, and we’re gonna find the solution for our kiddos, and in the process, heal ourselves. So I find your story very enlightening, and I do have a follow-up question for you, and that is which route did you take first? Was it meditation that you started off with to find a solution? Or kind of got guide us on your face with these issues. How do you go about it?
SPEAKER_00:
Well, I guess uh the way I mean I did a I tried a lot of different healing modalities just to learn how to do them to see if I could do them on my on my with my son. And you know, I did find counselors to work with him and homeopaths and naturopaths, and when all that didn’t work, we did put him on the medication and it did work. Um I guess I there was some counseling and stuff for myself because I felt like a failure as a mother, you know, that my child was having all these problems in school and all these teachers were saying, put him on drugs, put him on drugs, put him on drugs. And you know, having been involved in the medical profession with my first husband, a lot of the they don’t teach you nutrition in medical school. They they you know, and now it’s even worse, you know, than when he was there. That, you know, they’re the drug companies, you know, basically um pay for all this medical stuff, but that’s all that they really learn, and I think that’s really, really sad. So I guess for myself, um the way I my path of self-healing was more to find um like my tribe, my group of supportive women. And I also found that since I I didn’t know I had AD ADD. I don’t think I have ADHD. Who could, who knows? But I found that, you know, like yoga, meditation, and in my earlier years before my body said no more. I did a lot of running and a lot of racing. And and that helped with the endorphins that I could just chill out, be in my heart with my son, be a better mother, be a better attorney, um, just just by getting that relief. So, you know, I guess the, you know, and I always knew and I always seemed to draw friends to myself that were like my teachers, that were really heart-based, and we could really have these communications with each other and support each other. That, you know, I ended up like, you know, building a tribe around myself of really like loving, caring, supportive women from uh, you know, a bunch of different backgrounds. And and that helped as well. And so I didn’t really know that I was doing that at the time, but looking back in hindsight, you know, I did learn all these healing modalities. Um, I do still know how to do a bunch of them. I that’s really not my area of focus. But I’m glad I did it because I I ran into to and became friends with a lot of women that their whole focus in life was to help other people to heal in whatever way they could. And, you know, I think that’s invaluable.
SPEAKER_02:
It is because it forms these collaborations that if you can’t fulfill the need of a person you know who can. Well, this person is, and that’s what we were talking about prior to the interview. I I find it so interesting how your tribe was all women, which I think is amazing because I know I have felt a lot of competition from other women in my past, and it’s led me to kind of friend more men because they don’t kind of get pulled into the drama uh and the competition that women kind of get pulled into. So you mentioned they’re loving, they’re caring, they’re supportive. What other values did you look for in these women that can maybe guide women out there?
SPEAKER_00:
Yeah, and I just want to say that I agree with you. There’s a lot of stuff in the genetics, there’s a lot of stuff in the underlying culture that’s that that trains women to be um think the other woman is the enemy, like she’s gonna take away your man or or whatever it is that’s going on. Yeah, and it’s really, really, really sad. And I think that sometimes I visualize myself as a salmon swimming upstream, choosing to do it differently, because I think a lot of it comes from us. You know, if you’re if you’re not someone that wants to compete with other women, and that’s not what you’re about. And I do have a lot of men friends, I think they’re wonderful, just like you too. But in those early days, um, I just had a there was a it’s really interesting. I um and I I found her, I was practicing law in Cleveland, and my ex-husband had my son on the weekends, and I just happened to be in the office at seven o’clock at night, which never ever happened. And she called and had no money for a divorce, really. And she she wanted, she had never divorced her ex, who was very, very abusive because she had found the love of her life and wanted to get remarried, and so did he. And so um, she was just one of these kind of really, really giving people, and I did her stuff, and she did some stuff for me, and then we became like best friends, and uh, we were like the the main person to help each other in each other’s weddings when we got remarried, and she introduced me to some like-minded women, so and we all I found different, we were in like in different paths and find different ways to help each other, and so I feel it’s possible, but you have to really have your sixth sense out there to be like, you know, is this a a woman that can come together and just be giving and caring and not be in competition with me? And I was lucky to find a few, but you know, and I really hope that we can model that for other women, it doesn’t have to be that way, and I think it’s really sad that it is a, I don’t know, maybe a part of our genetics or a part of the way it’s been. I don’t know why, but it’s not helpful.
SPEAKER_02:
You know, I think the modeling really helps because when you’re someone that supports them, that empowers them, that can see their light and say, you know what, you’re beautiful, and just be very authentic when you talk to them. I think it gives them a sense of, hey, this woman is not out here to compete with me. She’s out here to collaborate with me. I was modeled that by my father and mother. Both my both of them carried this confidence within themselves that never competed with another human being. They only competed with their past self. I saw that every day. I like which is awesome because that’s the way it’s supposed to be. Yeah. We are supposed to be competing with our past self, and we’re supposed to be striving to be our higher selves, to have a higher level of consciousness that we didn’t have yesterday.
unknown:
Right.
SPEAKER_02:
That we’re supposed to reflect and look at what how could I have done this better? I know that I’m loved, that I’m worthy of love, and this challenge is showing up. What am I meant to learn? That’s the higher level of consciousness that I seek when I start to allow certain people to influence the way I’m thinking. I I have very careful now. I used to not be. You know, when you’re younger, you don’t, you’re very open and everything’s rose-colored glasses. And I remember my father used to always tell me, Sylvia, be aware that that is one of your entry points. Don’t allow just anybody to speak into you and influence you. Be very aware of who you build as your tribe, as your environment, and those that are speaking and influencing you. And I find that that is a great tip to offer anyone, especially during change, because in change is when our emotions are running really high, and we tend to make these snap decisions that are not in our best interest at sometimes.
unknown:
Right.
SPEAKER_00:
Do you agree with what you’re sharing? Yeah, I agree. And what you’re sharing, because you were asking me for some tips, is that what I share and what I teach is that mistakes are opportunities to learn and grow. They’re not an opportunity that we don’t want to use them as an opportunity to beat ourselves up. We made a mistake. We’re we’re in this human body, so we’re going to make lots of mistakes. So if if I had the same situation or a similar situation arise, how could I do it differently next time? It’s about more love, more light, more beauty, whatever beautiful qualities that you want to be, and then just like visualize yourself there. You know, what would it look like? What would it sound like? What would it be like? Because when we do that, we don’t beat ourselves up for the mistakes, but we use it as a like a loving opportunity to grow and evolve and be more of our best selves, then we’re we’re creating that foundation there for when something comes up again and it will come up again, because it’s been like maybe one of our furballs where we need to learn and evolve and grow. Um, so we have a foundation there to do it differently next time. And we’re never going to be perfect, but we can continue to use that as a basis to learn and evolve and grow. And another thing that I tell people is that you know, practice makes permanent. You know, I was a runner for years. I never could like, I didn’t just run around the block once and go run a half marathon. I trained like crazy because I loved it. And so it’s the same thing if we’re learning new ways of being that are more about love, that are more about self-care and loving and caring for others.
SPEAKER_02:
I so agree with you, and I love what you said. Practice makes permanent. The first time I heard that was from JP Morgan, Dr. J.P. Morland, he came to our church years ago to talk about anxiety, generalized anxiety disorder. And he said, in order to create new neural pathways in the brain, you’ve got to practice, practice, practice because it makes it permanent. And I find that that is so, so true, especially in the modalities that we were talking about earlier in meditation, which I find it admission. I don’t know about you, but as an ADD person, it was tough for me to sit still.
unknown:
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:
How was it for you?
SPEAKER_00:
How did you master it? But for years, um, there was this really, I mean, I I’m always open to stuff, and there was this um monk called Tik Nathan who came to Boulder, Colorado. They put it in like this big, huge Boulder Auditorium. 6,000 people came, and he did something that sort of opened up my life. It’s like he led it, and all these monks went behind him, and it was a walking meditation. And of course, Colorado’s gorgeous. And so, like, and for me to slow down and walk slowly and appreciate nature, I’m like, oh my god, I can meditate like this. So the first way that I learned meditation was I can just go out on a path or wherever it is, enjoy the beauty of mother nature, slow down my breath breathing, not be in a place where I’m power walking, and really appreciate it. Because what we’re doing is we’re bringing in gratitude and appreciation and a love of the beauty around us. And that is one way that you can begin to meditate so you can just chill out. And what I what I do with my meditation is I get up early. I like set my alarm for 5 15 if I don’t get up on by 5.25 at least, so I can brush my teeth, use the toilet, sit down. Why it’s very, very quiet in the world then, and that’s my meditation time because I’m not quite 100% awake, but I can really just be in that, okay, this is it. This is where I’ve set aside this time to be more love and to feel things and and just slow everything down and be with myself and um love or however I call it the universe or spirit, you know, you call it God, it’s all the same thing, right? We were talking about that, and that’s how I got into it. But um, that introduction was really an eye-opener for me because I’m like, I thought you had to sit there and go, um, or something. You know, I was like really ignorant. I didn’t realize there were so many different ways that you could meditate to really just come back into your own heart’s knowing.
SPEAKER_03:
I couldn’t agree with you more.
SPEAKER_02:
I think there’s so many ways that we can meditate, and it just needs to speak to your soul for it to feel right. I remember as you were talking, the first time I tried to teach my 83-year-old mother to meditate. She’s like, Well, what am I supposed to do? Because she was wanting to feel the peace I was feeling inside, because she said, You have changed so dramatically from the girl I raised. You were such a gung-ho type A, always on the go, always striving, always doing, not being. And I think that peace right there, the not being, is the challenge, truly is the opportunity that God is granting us to slow down and to say, there’s different ways we can do this. But I sat her down and I said, Mom, there’s lots of apps you can use. There’s this app right here, and I turned it on and I said, I just want you to visualize being there. So in your mind, just close your eyes and just whatever the meditation’s telling you, that’s kind of what you’re doing initially, if that works for you. But I love that you run out of nature because in nature, there’s it’s hard to ignore it. It is so beautiful outside, especially Denver. You’re right. You’re walking, there’s you gotta look down and be very intentional where you step sometimes in Colorado. And so walking slowly would be a perfect way to introduce meditation into your life. I do that now in the mornings and afternoons when I take my small dog out for a walk. And I don’t, the only reason I bring my phone is if we get into a jam, but I put it up. I don’t even have earphone, like nothing on. I’m just listening to the birds and nature as I’m walking him, and I’m just truly enjoying being in nature, and I’m saying that very specifically because I could say, well, I’m doing this, I’m walking the dog. Well, that kind of takes me out of that space of meditation, and that connection to nature is very, very powerful. I find that when I’m outside, downloads start to come very easily. Does that work for you too?
SPEAKER_00:
Sometimes I just um because I get downloads like different places, you know, someone will say something like, oh my god, I gotta write all this down right now. Um, and I find there’s certain times of the day that things will just flow through if I if I’m like writing a course or doing something. But there’s something, and I think society’s gotten away from it. Um so I’m gonna emphasize what you said, because to me, it’s like Mother Nature is like divine love, and and that she just feels so beautiful, and it’s like she’s uh an energy and it’s all around you. And when you get away from your cell phones and get away from your computers and you’re just out there appreciating it, it can just open your heart with so much gratitude and appreciation that we have this ability to get out there and and appreciate, you know, so much. And I just I can just sometimes just feel so loved when I’m out there, you know, because you’re right, there’s the birds, there’s the trees. For us, we can’t always see the mountains. And um it’s just it’s just like you described, it’s it’s just such a great place to to recalibrate for me in my heart, and to also feel really, really grounded and fully present in my body because I find that if I’m fully present here now, I’m not thinking about the past or worrying about the future. It’s a lot easier to to be my best self and to be of service.
SPEAKER_02:
I love that. Thank you so much for sharing that with the listeners who released out reveal purpose. It sounds like you are in your divine purpose, you are in it now. Does that feel good to hear that? Or do you think this is a seasonal purpose?
SPEAKER_00:
No, I hope not. It’s like if I was a runner, can you think I can just turn it off for a whole season then get back and do the same thing? I think that’s I’m rather foolish. For whatever we’re choosing to do in our lives, it becomes a part of who we are. And we need to place that love and intention and energy into that, you know, every day, you know, as much as we possibly can, you know, to be our best selves. It’s and you the only way you can evolve and grow is not to turn off a switch, like an on-off switch. That that just seems kind of ridiculous. I mean, from my point of view. But um, yes.
SPEAKER_02:
For some, yes, that would be ridiculous for some, that would be the way they operate. But uh, but I do appreciate your time here on the show. It has been very jam-packed with with tools and different ways, different modalities that we discussed and tips that you shared with anyone really encountering a major crossroads. Because divorce is not an easy crossroads to journey through. And and to do it twice and to do it successfully in that now you’re in a space that really feels right to you. And and most people can’t say that.
unknown:
Right.
SPEAKER_02:
Yeah, some people are still in their first act because they feel like that’s where they have to be, where people expect them to be. And what I find so joyful about your journey is that you have been very true to yourself and true to your purpose. And that’s the whole purpose of this podcast is to showcase people like you that have gone out of very dark chapters and stepped primely in their light and are shining so brightly. And I’m so happy for you. I’m glad that you are working with who you’re meant to work with. So uh do share with us who you work with and how people can contact you if they want to work with you.
SPEAKER_00:
So, my primary people that I work with are professional, executive women, and also women business owners. And so I do mentoring and coaching. Coaching is more like I’m partnering with you, walking alongside of you, helping you realize your vision, your goals. Mentoring is more like you’re standing on my shoulders, and I might say, Let’s let’s work with your inner coach today, because if Clinic is really having a good time here. And so I’m I’m more directive and I might give you know certain things for you to do. And so that’s what I primarily work with. And I’m also working to get out and speaking and uh doing workshops uh about kind of merging the the coaching and mentoring I do with uh the attorneys that I’m still licensed, but I’m just not practicing anymore. And it’s about negotiating from the heart and bringing more confidence and clarity and calm assurance into your life because we all negotiate every day with a lot of people. And it’s really important to find a way to do it that that’s more love-based. I love that. But do you have a web page or how do we find it? Sorry, yes, I have jewel consultancy, J-E-W-E-L, J E W E L Consultancy.com. Um, and also my full name is Arlene, the middle name is Cohen C O H E N Miller. If you Google that, you’ll find all the places in social media I’m at. And you can it actually has my phone number and my email address on my website so that you can either text me. That’s the best way to get a hold of me or email me. And there’s all sorts of videos and a blog to help you with kind of any aspect of your life, and that’s free.
SPEAKER_02:
Wonderful. I’m so happy you were on the show. Uh, any last minute things you want to say to the to the audience?
SPEAKER_00:
Yeah, I have this trinity I like to work with. It’s called kindness, patience, and tolerance. Of course, I didn’t make that up, but I guess what I’m encouraging everyone to do is just uh we can be really good with being that for other people. As women, we want to be kind and patient and tolerant with ourselves. You know, we’re we’re all works in progress. None of us here is perfect. We all make mistakes, so let’s give ourselves a break and give to our fill our own cups with love so we can share the overflow with everyone else.
SPEAKER_03:
Amazing tips, amazing words from an amazing woman.
SPEAKER_02:
Arlene, thank you so much for joining us on Release Doubt Reveal Purpose. And for those listeners, remember Matthew 5.14, be the light.
SPEAKER_03:
Have a wonderful week. Stay safe. Love you all. Bye now.
SPEAKER_01:
So that’s it for today’s episode of Release Doubt Reveal Purpose. Head on over to iTunes or wherever you listen and subscribe to the show. One lucky listener every single week who posts a review on iTunes will win a chance the grand prize drawing to win a twenty-five thousand dollar private VIP day with Sylvia Worsham herself. Be sure to head on over to sylviaworsham.com and pick up a free copy of Sylvia’s gift and join us on the next episode.