Your life can look “fine” on paper while your body is quietly flashing warning lights. Sylvia Worsham sits down with author Nicolette Halladay for a raw, faith-forward conversation about trusting yourself again after divorce, heartbreak, and the kind of relationship that makes you doubt your own reality.
We talk about what self-trust actually looks like in real time: the micro moments where you pause between a feeling and a reaction, the choice to stop chasing clarity outside yourself, and the courage to honor what your nervous system is telling you even when you can’t prove it yet. Nicolette shares her path through the end of a 20-year marriage, the slow work of grief and healing, and how the longing to be chosen can make smart, capable women vulnerable to toxic dynamics.
From there, we get practical. We unpack the “idols” of comfort, control, and acceptance, how self-reliance can harden into overcontrol, and why surrender and daily stillness can become a turning point for intuition, discernment, and purpose. Nicolette also shares the powerful “golden thread” vision that led to her book, The Golden Thread and the Lineage of the Light, and why decisive choices are a muscle that can be rebuilt.
If you’re navigating healing after divorce, recovering from a toxic relationship, or craving a deeper faith-based mindset and personal growth, this one will meet you where you are.
Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave a review to tell us: what’s one signal you’re finally ready to trust?
To connect or purchase Nicolette’s book visit: https://offer.inspiredhearts.co/home or link up with her on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicolette-halladay555/
To download a free chapter of host Sylvia Worsham’s bestselling book, In Faith, I Thrive: Finding Joy Through God’s Masterplan, purchase any of her products, or book a call with her, visit her website at www.sylviaworsham.com
Transcript:
If you’ve ever struggled with fear, doubt, or worry, and wondering what your true purpose was all about, then this podcast is for you. In this show, your host, Sylvia Warsham, will interview all these experts and ordinary people that have created extraordinary lives. So here’s your host, Sylvia Warsham.
Hello LiveRingers, it’s Sylvia Warsham. Welcome to Release Outreview Purpose. And today is Nicolette Halliday. She’s going to be speaking on trusting yourself again. I’ll tell you one thing: that word trust, it’s a very big word. Let’s unpack trust. Trust means that you step into a space whether you know what that space is going to mean for you. That’s called faith. The title of my book, from those that hear the podcast, In Faith, I Thrive. Well, we do thrive in faith because when we learn to pause for presence, when we learn to trust ourselves again, instead of seeking for answers outside of ourselves for that clarity that never comes by the way, my guy just add that little tidbit and just does it. You stay stuck in darker chapters more than God ever intended for you to stay stuck in. He wants you to step into your light, into your joy, into your happiness, into what you’ve been praying for, which is fulfillment. But you won’t be able to step in there. You can’t let go of control, of that idol. There are three idols that all of us fall into comfort, control, acceptance. When we fall into these idols, we tend to tighten our grip on control. And we we don’t know how to trust. We don’t know what that looks like or feels like. And sometimes it takes a pivotal moment for us to finally wake up because it starts to cost us too much. And I have a feeling that Nicolette has a story of transformation that will speak into this. So without further ado, Nicolette, thank you so much for joining us on Released Out Reveal Purpose.
Thank you for having me, Sylvia. It’s so wonderful to be here. And yeah, I’m looking forward to a great conversation today about self-trust and how sometimes um we can fall out of trust with ourselves, but how we can start learning to trust ourselves again in the process.
Yes, and I it’s such a word that can instill some fear in people. I really can, because we can believe a lot of things, but when when the word trust comes into the room, some people go, I don’t know how to do that. So can you honor us with that amazing pivotal moment that shifted your lens from looking outside of yourself to starting to trust your intuition?
Yeah, I think um I did have several pivotal moments, but I think more importantly, there were these micro moments in between those pivotal moments that um is the way that we really start building self-trust. It doesn’t sometimes we think of you know building our trust um in a way that has to be some big grand gesture, but really it’s just um starting to practice it in um you know these micro moments that give us an opportunity. Um, but going back to your question, um uh the pivotal moment for me, the most recent one, um was I had um, well, let’s see, I have to I have to back up just a little bit to give a little bit of context.
So um I had been married for 20 years. I was with my ex-husband for 24. We have three beautiful daughters together. And um five years ago, um that marriage ended. Um, and that was the beginning of my journey back to trusting myself. And I recognized that there were so many ways that I was contorting myself to fit into other people’s expectations, into societal constructs, into being what everyone else wanted me to be. And so there was this big um the divorce wasn’t my decision, but I decided um to take the high ground again and again and again because it was so important to me that me and my family were whole in the end of all of this. Um, and so the first moment was really deciding. I was I was crushed um at the end of my marriage and I was so angry. And um I remember waking up one day and just deciding that wasn’t gonna, I wasn’t gonna be chained to the resentment. Um, and I was going to um start looking forward and deciding who I was becoming in this this new um life that was unfolding for me. And so I think that was um kind of a big pivot because from that point I just continued to take the high ground again and again and again. And because of that, I have an amazing co-parenting relationship with my ex-husband. Um, my daughters feel so supported, they never have to think that there’s gonna be a conflict between us. So um, that was
the beginning of it. But I was a couple years out of that divorce, and um, I ended up in a relationship that kind of shook my understanding about people and people’s intentions. And I was a little bit naive to think that most people are um, we all have good intentions. Sometimes we don’t always do the right thing, but we mostly do the best we can and we’re not like out to, you know, try to cause harm. And um, this relationship really flipped that understanding on its head. And um, so it was an incredibly toxic relationship that was um kind of took me all the way out of my self-trust, even though I had built all I was doing all of these things to build trust in myself up to that point. Um, I just kind of got swept up in um this dynamic and I was seeping trust in myself. By the end, I was just uh, I was basically just kind of a shell. Um, and I felt so uncertain about what what what it was that I had just been through. I had experienced a lot of spiritual um connections. There’s a lot of things that were happening around this relationship. And so at the end of that relationship, um I just knew I had to completely surrender. Um, and you mentioned, you know, wanting us to control. And I think control can look and and say and comfort, and it is a big thing. Sometimes we can be comfortable in a really miserable situation because it’s scary. Um, change is scary. Um, and so I started really looking at these things that ways I could trust myself. So I would pray and I would get insight and I would follow it blindly um without knowing exactly why I was getting this insight. And it was such an important thing because this was how I was building my trust back up. Um, and so I was doing this. I was, I was praying, I was getting guidance, I was just delivering, like just trusting it. Um, and I woke up one day, it was a um about a month and a half after this uh relationship had ended, and I was doing all the right things, I was doing all the things, you know, that that we should be doing when we’re trying to heal and come back to ourselves. And I had had a dream, and I don’t exactly remember the dream, but I woke up kind of in a frenzy and I was I felt like an investigator. I was like trying to put dates together and putting all these pieces, and I was like, what is it that I am meant to see? Why am I not able to put some closure in this? What is it? And um at that moment I had a vision of a golden thread kind of hanging there, and I kind of started paying attention to it, and it showed me that it was an energy currency that could serve um, it could be protect me like an energy force around me. Um, it could be turned into a sword to cut through the truth. Um, so I had this dream, I had this vision, and then um what came next was a book. I wrote a book in a month, about 70% of my book just poured through me. It was like a remembering. Um, and um then the rest of the book came a lot slower as I was kind of like, okay, what is all of this? But they really the thing is, is I just kept trusting. I kept trusting that the message that was being received was the next the message that I was supposed to follow. And um, and it kept leading me to the next stone, so to speak. Um, and so that’s kind of how um the self, the real self-trust journey, I think, started.
How powerful. It really is very powerful and the way that the Lord shows up when we ask for his help. Yeah, because we we think initially, like when we’re younger, that it’s our understanding, it’s our knowledge that we need to use to navigate these chapters that are really tough. Yeah, and that’s not how he wants us to be. He wants us to be in relationship with him because his knowledge is so much bigger than ours. He can see more than we can. That’s why inviting him is so important. Inviting his understanding, his knowledge of the circumstance is important because he sees the heart and the motivation of others. We can’t see that. Sometimes the lies that formed long ago in our mind when we were kids follow us in this journey. Oh, sure. And form these feelings that are not real. And that’s why we fall trap to we react and we the circumstances we’re currently living in have formed a way of a pattern of behaving that has like looped and looped out. Exactly. Yes.
When we don’t break that cycle, there is a moment between the feeling and the reaction, there is a space there that God, when you look at his word, gives you that space before it becomes a reaction and you make a choice that you regret, you know, make a choice that really has a profound impact on your life. And in that space, the Lord is guiding us. The Lord is saying, Why do you feel this way? Why does your soul feel this way? Or you’ll you’ll see the songs that David wrote, Seek my heart, Lord, seek it and align it to your will. When we’re in the middle of change, there are two, there is a major conflict happening for those listening. And I heard you say this conflict and not so many words. One is the ego identity, the other one’s the soul identity. Now, the soul identity is where spirit lives and thrives, right? He’s waiting patiently for you to invite him into relationship. And your spirit is always leading you. That’s why Paul says you’re either spirit-led or led by the desires of the flesh, which are very strong in you. That’s why God sent Christ, because he saw that we just could not not fall trapped into these things, fall into these temptations, to react to these big feelings that sometimes are very big. And if we don’t stop and pause and ponder, like these micro moments that you were talking about, is to pause for that presence, for that invitation, please show me before I make a big decision. You know, I you talked about divorce. You talked about a toxic relationship. If I feel like you were talking about my own life. Incredibly self-serving. Yes, and people saw it. I couldn’t see it. Yeah, I craved acceptance so much. See, the idol for me was acceptance, yeah, because I had been in a loveless marriage for a long time and I wanted to be loved so badly. And I don’t know if that was the case for you or not. It sounds like it was. Do you want to dive a little bit deeper into this? Because I know that women out there, as they navigate divorce, as they navigate these next relationships, um, let’s dive a little bit into this space, if you will. Tell us a little bit about what happened.
Um, so uh let’s see. Um so the end of my divorce, of course, rocked me. I I I I was in I was married for 20 years. I I met my ex-husband when I was 17. So my entire adult life had been living this way. Um, and I was finding myself, um, but I was grieving. I allowed myself to cry for an entire year. I didn’t try um to um, I think so. One thing we do is we try to um fast track the healing, which um what I and we kind of put our nose down and just think we got to keep, you know, checking the to-dos off and you know, and I didn’t do that um to give myself a little credit. I just let myself be sad. And um, so I cried for a whole year and I think it just flushed everything out. Um, but I prayed and I meditated and I got in nature and I connected with people who I didn’t have to um perform around, who I was just, you know, who loved me, who I loved. Um, so I was doing all of these things, and like you, I still had this, you know, a big desire. I think something that a lot of women experience is we sometimes we see our own success through being chosen by a man. And um, or that’s you know, that’s that’s the that’s the princess story that this is if you’re not chosen, are you really enough? Um, and I think there was a lot of that kind of echoing around, even though it wasn’t like a conscious thought, there was a big desire um to be enough, to be validated, to be chosen. Um, and so when um this man swooped swept in, he really swept me off my feet and he said all the right things, and he um really, you know, was so good at mirroring back the language that I was using. And I felt like, oh, this is love. This is what love is, this is the love I’ve been waiting for. This is, you know, the um, this is the prince that’s coming in to save me. And there was still this desire to be saved, even though I was building my own business, doing all these things, there was still this part of me that felt like it wasn’t gonna be complete until I was chosen. And so just getting, you know, I think that made me vulnerable to a lot of things that I would have um maybe
been a little bit more bright-eyed about. I think also just to kind of sometimes I think we have to walk through the darkness to be able to find our own light. And that is what I feel like I experienced.
I tell you, as you were talking, I my mind was taking me back to that relationship, to those moments of how he did sweep me off my feet because I had been, like you, also rejected by my husband. He asked for the divorce, I did not. Yeah, I filed for divorce because after once I make a decision, it’s yeah, there’s no turning back, right? There’s the point of no return with me. And I came back determined to file for for the divorce. We had a young son, I didn’t have three girls. Um, so God bless you for that, because that’s a lot to handle. And our kids do keep us above the water because we don’t have the luxury of of truly like we have to keep moving forward.
We have to keep it. I also felt like honestly, me just being willing to heal the way I did was such a good example for them, you know. Yeah, because they need to see we don’t have to just sh, you know, this is a major thing, and it’s it needs to be grieved, like in so many ways.
Um and so um I did see, I I do agree with you there. I I allowed my daughter and my son to see me as I grieved my father’s death almost two years ago. Um, and they would see me just sob. And it’s important for them to see that as adults, we don’t have to carry it all by ourselves. That we can ask for help, that we can be held. Yeah, and as as you sob in somebody’s arms, you’re you’re modeling for them to reach out for help when you do feel like that. And so I think that’s a good point to point out in this interview. I I think another good point to point out is that you did grieve the way your body and your soul was asking you to grieve for a year.
Yeah.
That you don’t have to keep doing these things, these now you saw, and what I did see was that my idol of being accepted since I had been rejected by the husband, yeah, then I wanted to be pursued by someone, and he did a good job of pursuing me, and I felt so hard. And I remember my friends were like, uh uh. They were seeing it and I couldn’t see it, and I was so craved, like I so much craved to be loved and accepted and not rejected, right? Because that’s that fear, the fear of abandonment, the fear of rejection was so strong in me.
Yeah.
Uh, that this is the part that we want other women on this other side of this interview to understand. Be aware of those fears, you know. If you were to guide your younger self today with everything you’ve learned, how would you do that?
Um, it’s funny because I think I would do a lot of the same things. I think I did a lot of the things right. Um I, oh, it’s hard. That’s such a hard question because of course I would have been more aware and and I did see the red flags. I just ignored the red flags, you know, because I wanted to believe that this love story was real so bad. So I guess I would honor myself sooner. Um, because I it’s hard, it’s a hard question to answer because I didn’t know then what I know now. And so it’s hard to say, go back and tell yourself this when I didn’t know it, I didn’t feel it, I didn’t understand it in my body. And and also part of me thinks I needed to understand it. I needed to walk through it so that I could see and understand and have these conversations so that people understand how to move through and bring themselves back to trusting themselves. Um, but I would have recognized the red flags. I recognized them. I would have listened. I would have listened to my body, um, which was like screaming alarm bells. My nervous system was like high alert, and I had never received kind of that kind of wisdom um in my body before. And so I was scanning for evidence. Okay, why is my body telling me what is going on? The entire relationship I felt like I was on unsteady ground and I would have trusted that that is enough. Our bodies are wise, um, our hearts are wise. We have wisdom that we that the information that we are receiving isn’t always adding up to what our un our deeper understanding is. And so now moving forward, I trust it fully. If my body’s telling me something, I listen. I’m not gonna just dismiss it and try to find um, you know, the concrete evidence to support it, because in the end, all of my all of the suspicions were real. They were on, they were, I was receiving that um intuition in my body. So I think that’s the first thing is if your body is saying, especially if it’s something new, if you’re not someone who suffers from anxiety and all of a sudden your nervous system is alarm bells and you are like, what’s going
on? It’s worth listening to. It’s worth praying about, it’s worth really slowing down and getting out of our own way so that we can get the full understanding of the message that wants to come through.
I love a lot of what you stated. So we’re gonna we’re gonna break it up for the audience. So the first thing I heard you say was listen to your body when your body speaks. Your body is very wise and sure. That’s so right when it comes to that. There’s so many therapies that point to this truth in that we are guiding children, like for ADHD kids, the nurtured heart approach talks about asking your child, let me, how did you decide to stop screaming? Where did you feel that in your body? How is it showing up? Because your body gives you clues.
Yeah.
Before you react to a situation, before you step into a space that remember we were talking about the beginning, between the feeling and the reaction, there is a moment that the body gives you that indication. If you read scripture, you’ll see, like, for example, Cain in Genesis, he talks, uh, you know, the story talks about how he looked downcast. The body was already showing signs of that moment before he made a decision. Right. That it profoundly impacted his life. Because here’s the here’s the thing that I want people to understand. The joy is there for us, even in these moments of immense grief. Absolutely. But we take these big detours to our joy when we don’t pay attention to the warning signs that our body gives us. And they’re there for a reason. That’s why it’s also important for us to get into the word of God, because the word of God has an enormous amount of guidance into temptation. Temptation is always going to be there, guys. We’re we are fallible human beings. We are sinners, all of us. We sin every day, whether we want to or not, we do. We don’t come even close to his perfection. His perfection, his knowledge, his understanding, his glory, his honor is so much higher than what we are. I mean, look, just take a look around the perfection that he created us in such a way. He doesn’t create how what do I tell my kids? He doesn’t create crap. He doesn’t. He creates beautiful human beings in all of us. You have a light that he takes your pain and creates purpose out of it. He takes all of our choices, good, bad, ugly, and he turns them into his purpose, into his plan. He redirects us through these micro moments of pausing for presence, of paying attention to the body, of like going back and the awareness piece. The other thing that I loved about your story, and it’s so much in alignment with what how it happened for me, is that he also speaks to me in visions and in dreams. So you must have the spiritual gift of prophecy. Do you know if you do?
Um, I have never received a vision that like I did um with that golden thread. That’s it was some not something that I had ever experienced before.
Okay. It sounds like you might be like Joseph in the Bible. You know how he was a dream interpreter, and he was like, okay, this gold thread represents this. And that’s I think that’s where your gift is is aligned to, in that he was communicating to you this is what’s happening, and you need to pay attention. Now, the book being downloaded to you so quickly is after prayer and meditation because there’s so much guidance. He wants us, he gave this vision to somebody else that interviewed me just recently of going from the coaching seat to the student seat. And I want to communicate that to you because he wants you to know that. And so what was happening was my book, In Faith, I Thrive, Finding Joy Through God’s Master Plan, basically is he guided me through my journey, and now I’m to guide others through the same journey that they absolutely that they’re going through. And I’m working with recovering high achievers and guiding them into their higher calling and higher identity because he’s put me through that journey. Yes, yes, and so it sounds like he’s put you through your journey first. You can turn around and guide others that have fallen traps to not listening to themselves, to not listening to their intuition, to not turning inward for those answers, which by the way is one of the main themes of in faith. That’s right. So that’s why the alignment here is eerie.
Yes, I think that um there’s these moments um that how did I I think we received this guidance and um oh I was going somewhere and then I lost it. I’m sorry. That’s okay. I have an idea to do that.
Maybe it’ll come back, maybe not. We’ll see.
Um, but yes, I think listening for me it was so new because I never received this kind of I I consider myself a, you know, I’m a person of faith. I trust. I do have like an inner knowing and a compass that has guided me. Um, but I a lot of the wisdom and intuition and things that were coming through were really new to me, and that made it confusing because I was trying to understand all of these like spiritual gifts that I was receiving at the same time of being in this really confusing relationship dynamic that completely gutted me of my self-trust, and so the polarity in it um I think is really important to point out because sometimes when I think back to my journey and all of the things that I’ve been through to get to being this version of me who’s sitting here right now, um the b most the big the the most tumultuous the most like big transitional the hardest challenges is on the other side of that is this was this version of me who had a deeper wisdom, a trust in herself, a trust in God, like a deeper than I could have ever I think. Um I don’t I don’t want to say that we have to go through hardship to get to that point, but I think um for whatever reason, maybe it was just my um stubbornness, um, I had to move through this really painful um journey so that I could have this clarity that came through. So I think it’s important to remember if you’re in the midst of heartache, if you’re feeling like you are your feet aren’t sturdy underneath you and you are, you know, life around you feels like it’s just crumbling. That there is something when you can continue to trust in God and in yourself and continue to um lead with integrity and lead as a person who wants to really considering who you’re becoming in that version of you. Because I think sometimes a lot of times people will get caught up in that grief and they’ll get stuck there. Um, and so when we can walk through it and end up on the other side, um you will be a version of yourself that you’ll be so proud of.
I agree, I agree, and can I ask you a question? And this is popping up, but this is the Holy Spirit kind of prompting me to ask you are you someone
in years past that was very self-reliant? Yes. So you didn’t depend on him yet?
I was no, yes, no. Okay. I felt like I had, um, yeah, in my marriage, I was incredibly I did, oh gosh, I don’t even know how I did everything I did when I left back to my marriage because there was such a burden of responsibility on me um that I felt like I was, you know, carrying bricks around to just get through every day. And um so most of my first, you know, 40 years on earth was me just feeling like I had to, I had to do it.
I know. And the reason why I asked that is because women like us, it’s not our stubbornness, although that could be part of it, is our idol is one of control because of what happened to us early on in our childhood, that we are not, and that those are the drivers. And so we take on more than is really our responsibility to take on, number one. And so what God is doing in these trials and tribulations, which by the way, for those that read the word, know we don’t escape those. So some of us, I mean, he never promised a carefree life with no trials, no tribulations. We all go through them, right? But what he does in those moments of silence sometimes, in those dark moments and chapters, it he has not abandoned you. What he’s doing is he’s refining you through the fire. And what happens when we refine, we might make things better. We make things, we come out of that moment, out of those years of darkness way stronger than when we first stepped in there.
Now it’s a choice, it is a choice. The important thing is we’re always choosing. And even when tragedy strikes or we’re going through some of the biggest challenges, um, I think that’s something that I really want anyone who’s listening that’s maybe going through this to remember. What you’re doing today is deciding how you’re what you’re moving into. Um, even when things we don’t always get a choice, sometimes things are thrusted upon us, but we get to choose how we maneuver through it. Yes. And so we can escape it, we can go down our old loops and patterns and um, you know, go jump into the next thing that’s gonna distract us from the pain, or sometimes we can just sit in it and listen for the message that’s underneath it.
And the one thing that I think, well, at least he’s teaching me this. I don’t know, he may be teaching you too, is to depend on him. Yes. Now, for someone like me, that’s hard is hard. Now, my first instance of depending on him fully, surrendering fully to him came in 2012. And I used to always say in interviews, it’s because I was a stubborn child of God. So when you said stubborn, I was like, yeah, I’ve been there. And he had to wake me up because I was in the wrong act. I was in a top saleswoman in the country for Pfizer pharmaceuticals. My husband had just asked for a divorce. I was raising a four-year-old son. I came out, I was doing so much. Yeah. And God is like, listen, child, this isn’t your path. And he used my choice because it was my choice to start taking birth control pills when I started dating my second husband. Because, like a good Mexican girl didn’t want to get pregnant. Well, that was the least of my worries. What ended up transpiring was a medical complication that put my life in enormous risk. I had an 80% chance of dying because of those birth control pills. I ended up with pulmonary embolism, multiple, and Bud Carrie syndrome, which basically is a blood clot that clots the vena cava and puts pressure on your liver. So, for the women listening over the age of 35, there’s a big risk of this. The fine print will not tell you the true percentage of this because here’s the kicker. The hospitals have to call when there’s a medical complication like this to report it to the FDA. It doesn’t get automatically reported. And we know that hospitals are busy and overrun and overworked and everything, our healthcare professionals too. They’re not going to make the time to sit there for 40 minutes to an hour to report a medical complication.
Oh, wow.
That percentage.
So they’re just going unreported.
They’re going unreported. And I was one of those unreported cases. And I face that. And so when you face six doctors in a hospital room, and they basically have told your entire family of doctors that you need to prepare because your daughter and sister likely will not survive the night.
Oh my god.
During Easter weekend of 2012. I mean, like the timing of this was just like comic. I was like, I looked at it, I was like, really?
On Easter weekend, resurrection day for the Christians. I have these moments where I look back and I’m like, come on. Like it’s the and and so many, so many experiences, um, like similar synchronicities where I’m like, you can’t make it up. Like there is no other answer, there is no other reason why this you know encounter happened or this timing happened.
His hand is in it everywhere. That’s what I was telling you. Like, for those women listening, the book of Esther is a good book for all of us to read.
I’m definitely I’m so curious. Yes, it sounds very, very um relevant to me.
Yes, because the timing, his timing is key. Yeah, sometimes we get ahead of ourselves. Like you and I got ahead of ourselves because we felt so craved for the lack of love we felt in the first marriage. Yeah, we felt trapped to a horrible relationship, rebound relationship that really affected us. Yeah, I know it affected me immensely to the point where I turned away from relationships for like three years.
I’m like, I don’t want to ever really myself just yeah, I feel like for me, it’s interesting because I think back and like the the trauma I felt from that relationship. I don’t want to say it was more than my marriage because obviously my marriage ending, because obviously that was you know so many layers, but the I think the just the realization I was getting um and receiving about how hurt people hurt people. Oh just basically crushed my heart in
so many ways.
Yeah, it does, it does. So for those listening, realize read the book of Esther, get into it, you know. There, I was telling uh Nicolette, there’s a great book out there, it’s very small, called Pathways by Tony Evans. Um, wonderful, wonderful overview of the whole book. He takes it chapter by chapter and really takes you deep dive into it, into everything that’s happening, and how, even though it’s the only chapter in the Bible where God Himself is not mentioned at all throughout the whole book, his hand, his providence, his protection is everywhere in that book. And it’s about the timing, his timing to things. She does a lot of fasting. We know that fasting clears the mind. Scientifically, it has been proven to clear the mind, especially the last 24 hours. We know that’s something Christ Himself did. He would go off, you know, after he did his miracles. He needed time alone, much like Nicolette is saying, it’s these small moments of silence, of pausing. I do that every morning at five with my one cup of coffee. I’m out there with him and I’m pausing for presence because it’s not about doing, guys, it’s about embodying the fruit of the spirit, embodying kindness, embodying love, embodying joy, love. All these things that we’re seeking, we’re not gonna find outside of ourselves. I mean, both Nicolette and I are here to tell you, quit doing that.
You will, yes, you won’t. And sometimes we need to pause. Sometimes we don’t need to just push to the next agenda or push to the next, you know. We want so much to hurry past these kind of real like challenging times where um I think God is asking us to pause. I think we need to pause initially after my divorce. And I think I wanted to move faster um than what, you know, that was part of my vulnerability. That was the idol.
You know, we all have idols in our life, and like I said, you yours was the idol of comfort. You avoided your pain through your achievements, much like I did. You know, I just went from one achievement to the other because I did not want to deal with my pain. But when you don’t deal with it, when you don’t heal the wound, the wound informs and projects and you attract that in your life.
And you’re gonna keep getting opportunities to remember it. And I think it’s important to remember because I look back on my journey and I think sometimes we think, oh, we did it right or we did it wrong. And I did a lot of things right. Yeah. And then also there were places where you know I wasn’t being open to receiving the wisdom of God. I was kind of having my own itinerary or agenda, and um, and so I think giving ourselves a lot of grace and also just giving ourselves grace and being willing to reflect and then self-correct. It’s such an important part of our journey. Otherwise, like you said, we’re just gonna have the same kind of dynamics, the same patterns, the same kind of lessons coming up for us if we’re not really willing to look and say, what is it? How what is it that I am contributing? Um, both good and bad. It’s good to just know what is it, you know.
Then the bad gives you the contrast, you know, the dark chapters, they give us contrast.
Yeah, yeah. And and it’s like, oh, um, and so give giving ourselves lots of grace. I had to give myself so much grace after um, you know, the the relationship, the rebound relationship ended because I was like, I was bamboozled. Like, how did I, someone who had been, you know, doing the self-work and doing these things to come back to myself, how did I get looped into this? Um, and I think giving myself grace and saying, okay, what is it now? What is it that I’m learning? What is it that I’m going to carry forward in a way to not only help bring myself to my, you know, best, highest and best, but to also maybe, you know, inform other people so they don’t feel so alone, so that they um can maybe avoid some of the challenges that I walked through.
And I’ll add one more question to what you just added on there. What is God refining in me in this chapter? In this, in this space and time, there’s something He is refining in me. And it’s not a failure when you learn the lesson. It’s a failure when you fail to learn the lesson that this circumstance is teaching you. And you just keep it.
And that lesson doesn’t want to keep following you around.
Yes. So any last words of encouragement you want to leave us with on
the show? And what is the name of your book and how can we purchase it?
Yes. Um, I think the last words of encouragement, I just want to circle back to trusting ourselves. We had kind of a full conversation around some of the other parts of the um, you know, the different parts of the story. But I think the ways that we trust ourselves, um, a few ways that we can start trusting ourselves right now is to if you receive I I mentioned it, if you receive some kind of um, you know, message in your body, if your heart is telling you something, trust it. We don’t always get to know the clarity of the reason why. Um, trust it. Um, if you’re going through a challenging season, please ask God to support you. Not only God, but ask God for earth angels to come in and support you too, because I’ve been supported in so many ways by just incredible humans that um we’re there. We don’t have to do this alone. Um, and so um call in your support, seen and unseen. And um and start making decisive decisions towards your highest and best um without questioning yourself. Because a lot of my story um before this was hesitation, receiving guidance, and then kind of, oh wait, him hawing, um, kind of wanting to straddle this line. But when we can start making decisive decisions and trusting that a decisive decision is a good decision, um, we get better at being able to maneuver and kind of trusting our own message and and the the wisdom that we’re receiving from God because it he’s always speaking to us um and through us. And so trusting that we have this channel um and that we can maneuver through these things.
And the name of your book and where to purchase it?
Yes. Um the name of my book is The Golden Thread and the Lineage of the Light. And um, it’s currently on Amazon. It will be available on um Barnes and Noble and Target Walmart, all the big um box store retailers online version very soon. But for now, it’s on Amazon. Um, I’d love for you to take a look um and um have a read. And if anything resonates with you, please, please, please leave me a review. Um, reviews for authors are so incredibly valuable, and I just love to get the feedback. Um, I poured my heart um into this book, and um, it means so much to me to get to hear um readers receiving it.
Well, Nicolette, thank you so much for joining us on Released Out Reveal Purpose. And for the listeners, you know how I usually sign off to remember Matthew 5.14 to be the light. Be the light, like Nicolette was the light. Step into your purpose, into that divine calling and identity with confidence. God gave you that gift in the character he provided for you. He says it in his word. I gave you a spirit, not of timidness, but of power, love, and self-discipline. So there’s things that he’s pulling us to step into. Don’t be afraid. God is always with you. He will guide you when you ask him to. If you go to church, don’t go to church, if you, you know, what religion you subscribe to. That doesn’t matter to him. What matters to him is that you seek his counsel. Talk to him daily in these small micro moments that Nicolette was talking about. Be the light, step into it with confidence, joy, and faith. Have a wonderful and blessed rest of your week. Bye now.
So that’s it for today’s episode of Release Doubt, Reveal Purpose. Head on over to iTunes or wherever you listen and subscribe to the show. One lucky listener every single week who posts a review on iTunes will win a chance the grand prize drawing to win a $25,000 private VIP day with Sylvia Worstham herself. Be sure to head on over to sylviaworsham.com and pick up a free copy of Sylvia’s gift and join us on the next episode.